He demands proof of love. In all sorts of little things. " If you love me, then...", and it doesn’t matter what happens next. He is clearly going to bargain and set conditions. It is quite possible that he simply requires attention and warmth. Remember, suddenly you haven’t said “I love” for a long time you".

I'll have dinner at my mom's.

I'll finish the game now.

There is an opinion that men are addicted to computer games because of family boredom or problems at work., because in computer games the man is in charge. If a woman does not pay enough attention to her husband, he does not necessarily leave the family, going to another, but he can go into the virtual world.

I'm with a friend.

When friendship becomes more important than family values, it can lead to a break in the relationship. Nobody says that partners should completely immerse themselves in each other and give all their energy to only one person. But an obsession with spending time with friends can lead to suspicion, jealousy, and resentment. Your husband is clearly missing something in your relationship if he is so drawn to other people.

What about the magic word?

Happy family men repeat the phrases “I love you” and “Have a nice day” very often. These words are a great way to buy a little patience and calm for the day ahead. Phrases like “I love you”, “I care about you” will allow you to think about your relationships more often. If you live together for a long time, this does not mean that you need to forget about tenderness, compliments and declarations of love. Maybe this is exactly what he lacks?

You are not listening to me!

The greatest communication skill is the ability to listen effectively. One of the most striking manifestations of feelings in a family is the ability to completely focus on our spouse, listen to him, regardless of what we ourselves want to say. “Being heard” is equivalent to “being loved.” A person feels maximum respect and gratitude at these moments.

Not funny.

Psychologists have established that if close people do not laugh together, it means that not everything is going smoothly in the relationship. In houses where jokes and laughter live, there is a light, pleasant atmosphere and stable relationships develop between people. At the very beginning of family life, laughter in the family sounds much more often. Usually this happens just like that, for no reason. As the years pass and we get to know each other, the jokes become more targeted and sometimes quite biting.

Do you ever have a weekend?

The opinion of psychologists is clear: separate holidays do not at all contribute to strengthening the family and relationships between spouses. Properly planned joint leisure only helps to strengthen family relationships and establish deep emotional connections. To make a joint vacation a joy for both spouses, you need to carefully prepare for it. Attend joint events, talk to each other, share dreams.

Dont touch me.

Happy spouses hug each other when they leave for work, greet each other after, just like that during the day. If there are no “duty hugs” in the family, then people experience tactile hunger. Psychologists are sure that people who want to hug you want to experience a feeling of security, comfort and love. The more often we hug each other, the more pleasant it is for us to do it, the stronger the beneficial form of dependence manifests itself.

You don't know what I dream about.

Happy couples share more than just everyday worries. They have common goals, plans and dreams. It doesn't matter what you strive for, what matters is that you bring it all together. If you want to buy an apartment, and your husband wants to build a house with his own hands, then most likely you will have neither one nor the other. Discussing the future, spouses get to know each other better and show mutual interest. If you really don't know what your spouse's dreams are, then you are missing out on an important part of your present and future.

Perhaps every second woman who is in a permanent relationship or married for more than two years speaks about a lack of attention.

According to statistics, it is after two years of marriage that a man manages to feel some stability in your couple, so romance ceases to play a big role for him, and convenience and practicality become the focus of his actions and deeds.

It is at this moment that a woman begins to talk about lack of attention, and a man cannot even imagine what she is talking about and what exactly she means. After all, in his understanding, everything is fine in your couple or family life.

When communicating with my male clients, I very often hear that they simply do not understand what kind of attention a woman is talking about. Let's figure it out together :)

It is in understanding the meaning of the word “attention” that differences in the psychology of men and women are again revealed.

For example, from a male point of view, to show attention (after a certain period of cohabitation) means to do something global and useful for a woman. Bring a salary or give a significant amount of money for expenses or personal purchases, take a woman on business, pick her up from work, solve some of her problems or important issues, protect her from communication with all kinds of authorities or services, give her an ironing board or vacuum cleaner for a holiday. and so on.

Often men direct all their efforts precisely to this aspect of understanding “attention” to a woman in a relationship. It seems to them that the more significant the deed or the more useful and practical a purchase they make for their loved one or their general needs, the more attention they pay.

Women's psychology is completely different... With each year lived together, a woman does not become more practical, as happens with a man. The romance in her does not fade, and she is able to maintain a special, somewhat childish charm and spontaneity until her very old age.

Attention for women- this is a well-timed compliment, this is your ability to admire her as a WOMAN. It's how tightly you hold her hand when you walk down the street together. This is your smile and delighted look from its appearance. This is your ability to protect or stand up for her in a timely manner, even in the most trivial situation. This is an SMS or a letter by mail with the words: “I love you, you are so beautiful to me.” This is an impractical gift or surprise that highlights her feminine side or your feelings for her. This is the lowered toilet seat, the dishes washed after yourself, the things you put away. This is a manifestation of your concern in a situation when she is tired. This is your ability to simply listen to the end of everything that worries her so much today - without unnecessary comments or advice.

Attention in the female understanding does not have the connotation of something global. It is rather something romantic, and it consists of daily little things, which are called working on relationships and feelings, and which men so often forget about.

American psychologists cited the following as a striking example of understanding attention on the part of men and women. Imagine giving ratings from 1 to 10 for everything you do for each other.

Let's see how the man rates. For example, he bought a ticket to a new unexplored country - 10 points. He hung his things in the closet and washed the dishes after himself - 2 points.

How would a woman evaluate this same situation: he bought a ticket to a new unexplored country - 10 points. He hung his things in the closet and washed the dishes after himself - 10 points - because she was tired today, and he felt it and helped her, he showed attention.

Dear men, if your relationship has become too practical and stable, then the woman becomes bored, she begins to experience an acute lack of attention, she ceases to feel like your muse, she ceases to feel like a woman and the need for herself as a woman. And then you know: “I don’t have enough attention...”

Dear women! Don't be afraid to say what you really need. After all, we don’t know how to read each other’s thoughts, but we really want to understand our loved one or the woman we love. The ability to calmly explain what you want or what exactly you lack, relieves unnecessary tension between partners, and also brings harmony to your relationship.

Knowing the distinctive features in female and male psychology, as well as the fundamental differences in the understanding of “attention” on the part of men and women, applying the acquired knowledge in everyday life, you can remain happy every day!

Take care of each other!
Be happy!

In family relationships, a man needs no less affection and warmth than a woman. The husband lacks attention when his fair half gives birth to a child, goes to work, or simply forgets about the feelings that once brought them together. It is important here not to miss the moment, to learn to understand and hear your spouse, otherwise the marriage will be on the verge of collapse.

Never fall asleep with your back to each other after a quarrel, otherwise your husband will miss your attention and affection

A loving woman can intuitively feel that something wrong is happening to her partner. But changes in a husband’s behavior are not always associated with his desire to get his wife’s attention.

What to do if your husband constantly lacks attention

Sometimes women, in an attempt to find out the reason for dramatic changes, instead of a heart-to-heart talk, arrange an emotional “debriefing” for men; scandals will only aggravate the situation and further alienate partners from each other.

But this will work if there is no place for criticism and condemnation in such an exchange of emotions.

The main thing in resolving family conflicts is dialogue. Learn to control your emotions and talk to your other half

What to do when your spouse begins to lack attention:

• Praise him as often as possible, even for the most insignificant actions;
• touch him, hug him - tactile communication helps your spouse understand that he is dear to you;
• constantly talk about your feelings to your loved one;
• be unobtrusively interested in his life outside the home;
• organize a joint vacation without children, relatives and friends;
• ask for help in any matter, even a simple matter: the spouse should feel like a protector and support.

These actions and words will not allow your lover to withdraw into himself or withdraw into himself. A man wants to feel significant in your life; in the eyes of his children, he wants to be successful, strong and kind.

Emphasize his positive qualities when talking with children - this will raise your husband’s authority.

Have you noticed similar dissatisfaction with men? Do you feel like they don't like you? They spend little time with you, don’t talk about what’s really important to you, forget about you, don’t give you gifts, don’t pay you enough attention, don’t pamper you?

I don't want to upset you, but it seems like you've completely forgotten about yourself. Remember the last time you bought yourself flowers? Did you arrange a trip to the cinema or theater? When did you give yourself a gift? No, not from resentment that no one else gave it to you, but from the overwhelming feeling of love for yourself, from the desire to pamper yourself, to please. How long ago, looking at your reflection in the mirror, did you tell yourself the compliments that you would so much like to hear from men?

Since childhood, we have been taught to look for answers to questions, somewhere outside, outside. When we got a bad grade, we were given a textbook to cram. If we had a headache, we were offered to take a pill. We are not used to looking for answers to questions within ourselves. We are not used to looking for resources to satisfy our desires and needs within ourselves. But we have perfectly learned to project our inner desires onto other people. Especially for men. When we stop devoting time to ourselves, we often begin to make claims to a man, as if he had completely stopped devoting it to us. When for some reason we stop pampering ourselves and begin to feel an urgent need for it, we also begin to make claims to the man for this.

But the paradox is that in those moments when women make claims to men, men do not want to give their care and love. Men seem to feel that a woman has no self-love, she doesn’t take care of herself, doesn’t respect herself, doesn’t pamper herself. And no matter how offensive it may be, no man is able to satisfy a woman’s hunger for self-love.

But you yourself are able to satisfy this hunger to the fullest! Start observing what complaints you most often make to men? Most likely, these are the forms of manifestation of self-love that you currently need.

And also perform a simple but very effective practice:

• Write 7 specific manifestations of love that you would like to receive from men.
• In the next 7 days, implement these manifestations in relation to yourself.
• After a week, you will only be surprised at how much men’s attitude towards you has changed.

The world is a mirror. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you! And, most importantly, ! Then others will love you too.

Women want male attention, they don’t get it, they suffer and write letters to me.

For example, like this: “A woman wants more warmth, words and signs of attention, that is, expressions and external manifestations of love from a Man. The man is cold and not used to giving all this away, he is silent, but says that he loves and freaks out when some signs of attention are required from him, he withdraws into himself.

A quarrel and resentment begins on both sides. He is as cold as an Iceberg in the ocean, and she wants love). What should both of us do? P.S. Verbal requests do not help".

Or like this: “He doesn’t talk about his feelings, I want him to do it sincerely, and not when I pull them out of him. I feel like our relationship lacks this emotional expression due to his past experiences.

I am very emotional, I miss emotions from him, I stop feeling that I am valuable to him, it hurts me. Please tell me what to do about this".

The easiest way, of course, in this situation is to talk not with women, but with their men.

Take this person aside and say, well, don’t be a beech, learn a dozen warm phrases and expressions of attention, put them in the reminders of your phone and do it as soon as the reminder pops up. Let’s say you’re on your way home from work, and here’s a reminder: “Buy flowers for your wife.” I stopped, bought it, brought it home, and handed it over.

Another time the reminder “Tell your wife you love her” chimed. He said and kissed.

The third time, the reminder reminded “Hug your wife right now.” He went and hugged him. If at that moment my wife was not at home, I wrote an SMS, saying, “darling, I miss you, I want to hug you so much.”

That's all. Your wife is happy, she doesn’t write various questions to Zygmantovich, she doesn’t complain about your coldness. Beauty!

Alas, this method will not work - women write to me, not men. The solution is needed for women, not for men.

Therefore, I will try the proven method - to clarify. It often happens that the clarity that emerges, when everything is in order, seriously reduces tension and suffering.

Let's start with the main thing - men are usually less attentive to relationships than women. For most women, relationships usually come first. For most men, usually - on the third (the gradation is somewhat arbitrary and does not apply to all, but only to the majority).

A woman is usually worried and worried about the relationship. A man usually worries and worries about business (in the broad sense - about what he does outside the family).

Relationships, wife and children - for him come somewhat after the matter (although, what is important, most often the matter is not for him personally, but for the family). But for a woman it’s the opposite.

This is normal - men and women are complementary, that is, complementary. Our union allows us to accomplish more than we could alone.

However, this is where the problems come from. Women expect one thing from men, but get another. Men expect something else from women, but get something else.

Which exit? Of course, take into account each other’s characteristics.

It is useful for men to know and remember that relationships are usually immeasurably important for women, at the top of the list of priorities, and sometimes even higher than the first place.

It is useful for women to know and remember that relationships for men are usually somewhere in third place on the list of priorities. This knowledge and “remembering” seriously makes life easier.

Further.

A woman wants attention for two reasons - biological and psychological. Biologically, attention is pleasant. Stroking, scratching, hugging, affectionate intonations - it all makes him happy.

Psychologically, attention means that you are the only one for me, as before. And a woman, let me remind you, wants not to be loved, but to be the only one (the link to a note about this is at the very bottom).

Therefore, when a woman talks about attention, she can say it “out of joy”, because she wants pleasant things. Or she may say “out of fear,” because she is afraid that she has ceased to be the only one for a man.

As a rule, they say mainly “out of fear.” And when they speak out of fear, requests sound like accusations, hints sound like reproaches, questions sound like attacks. Because of fear.

Exit? Deal with your fears - what’s going on inside your head that you started to be afraid. Let's say, maybe you've fantasized all sorts of things, but the man, as in the joke, just won't start his motorcycle? Maybe what you consider coldness is actually just thoughtfulness?

A man's love is easy to see - is he trying to make your life easier? That means he loves. Is he coming home? Does it bring money? Helps in different matters? So he definitely loves it. So what, what he doesn’t say, actions are more important than words.

Dear ladies! Before you suffer and grieve, look at what is happening with a sober look. Is a man reaching out to you? Talking to you? Hugs you? Does he come to your home? Spends the night with you? Buying you a bag, boots and a sixth iPhonePlus? So, maybe this is a manifestation of his love and emphasizing your uniqueness for him? Maybe this is important? Maybe look at this, and not your fear?

Let's leave these questions unanswered - as rhetorical...

And I have everything. Thank you for your attention.