During adolescence, it is difficult to find yourself in society when you are no longer perceived as a child, but are not given the privileges of an adult. Society expects a teenager to act responsibly; he is no longer forgiven for those pranks that are permissible for small children.

Teenager and his age characteristics

Adolescents are considered to be children between the ages of 11 and 16 (19 in some countries). Adolescence is called transitional age because during these years the transition from childhood to adulthood occurs. A teenager is expected to behave like an adult, but he is not yet used to taking responsibility, has not left the care of his parents, and does not have serious permanent responsibilities. At the same time, the teenager feels like an adult and begins to show his parents his character.

Age characteristics of a teenager include:

1. The desire for self-affirmation. At this age, the child strives to stand out from society and express himself as an individual. Ideally, he will try to achieve high results in studies, creative activities, and sports. Alternative ways of self-affirmation can be aggression, smoking, and actions that disturb the peace in society. Teenagers do not yet realize that such activity is not prestigious, that this way cannot become an extraordinary, independent person;
2. Intensive growth and development of the body. From the age of 11-13, the child’s body is rebuilt and begins to grow rapidly. But the body develops unevenly; sometimes the head, arms, and legs are the first to increase in size; a growing teenager looks disproportionate. Because of this, many people develop an inferiority complex, self-esteem drops, and the child considers himself ugly. It is important to understand that this is a temporary phenomenon and everything will change soon, you need to be patient, accept the “new you”;
3. Frequent mood changes. Together with the body, the psyche is rebuilt, this causes irritation, sadness, apathy, which can abruptly give way to overexcitation, laughter, and happiness. The teenager’s emotional swings are not understood by others; in fact, they are caused by the instability of the nervous system;
4. Touchiness. During these years, children develop ideas about themselves based on the opinions of others. Therefore, criticism, a bad joke, a negative assessment of a teenager’s appearance or character causes strong resentment and is taken to heart.

Due to the age characteristics of adolescents, adolescence is also called difficult, critical, and must be overcome as the last step to adulthood.

This is interesting! Scientists have found that teenagers have difficulty learning. Their internal organs grow rapidly, which can cause fatigue, stress, and dizziness. In this state, you need to rest more often, be in the fresh air, but you shouldn’t forget about your lessons.

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Acceptance of oneself and one's appearance, self-esteem of adolescents

Children aged 11-15 closely monitor changes in their appearance and compare their appearance with those of their peers. Teenagers are often dissatisfied with their appearance. To look attractive, girls repeat the behavior of their favorite movie heroines, want to dress like models from magazine covers, and give themselves fashionable hairstyles. Boys dream of becoming taller, test their strength with each other, strive for victories in sports competitions.

But at this age, the growth and development of the body in different children proceeds unevenly, some mature faster, others significantly lag behind in growth and physique development. Because of this, the teenager does not like his appearance, he tries to avoid entertaining school events, and withdraws into himself.

Important! In adolescence, external attractiveness is the main value. Beautiful classmates seem much smarter, more interesting, and more attractive to communicate with. Teenagers evaluate others primarily by their appearance, not yet understanding that the internal qualities of a person are much more important than a “beautiful picture.”

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Therefore, problems with appearance among teenagers seem to be the most important thing for them; they are much less interested in studies. If a child at this age does not learn to accept himself and the characteristics of his body, he risks maintaining teenage complexes for the rest of his life. Then people wonder why a beautiful, successful woman is shy, unsure of herself, it turns out that everything stems from adolescence.

During adolescence, a teenager’s self-esteem is formed based on the perception of others’ appearance. Psychologists advise not to worry about negative assessments of your own appearance by others, but to turn everything into a joke and not take criticism seriously.

Example. One day, several classmates called Masha and Tanya little girls, deciding to make fun of the short stature of both friends. Masha was very upset because of such offensive jokes, burst into tears and ran away from the class. This only irritated the boys, and they called her by this nickname for a long time. Tanya, in response to the insult, laughed at the guys, saying that although she is small, she is three times smarter than her big and stupid peers. No one pestered Tanya with ridicule anymore, as she was not offended and took everything with humor.

Preparation for work

At the age of 12-15 years, the question arises of how to decide on the choice of profession for a teenager. Parents understand that the main task of adolescence is the right choice of profession for their children, so that they can find a well-paid job they like in the future. But it can be difficult for girls and boys to figure out what they want to do in life.

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To help a teenager decide on a career choice, special tests have been developed for career guidance (aptitude for a particular job). This test is usually carried out by a school psychologist with students in grades 8-9. He tries to identify the student’s inclinations, interests, and talents in order to help him choose a future profession.

You should start thinking about choosing a profession from the 6th-7th grade in order to develop talents and abilities that may be useful in the future. The child needs to learn as much as possible about the work activities of people in different professions, to understand what kind of work he would prefer to do.

In modern times, common psychological problems of adolescence have become: apathy, depression, uncontrolled aggression. These are serious problems, and if they arise, the child needs to seek help from a school psychologist or parents.

Taking responsibility for your life

A teenager must understand that in adolescence it is time to take responsibility for his actions. For minor offenses, such as violation of discipline, verbal warnings and punishment from parents will follow. The consequences will be more serious for illegal behavior (behavior prohibited by law).

From the age of 14, teenagers become criminally responsible for certain types of crimes. These include murder, robbery, kidnapping, and weapons theft. This is a harsh measure against teenagers; it was introduced to prevent crimes against human life and health, and to protect safety and order in society. Criminal liability of a teenager occurs regardless of whether he knew about the existence of the law or not.

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Children over 14 years of age must understand that an offense can unwittingly become a crime:

• Petya and Misha had fun, threw bricks off the roof and watched them break from the 8th floor onto the asphalt. But suddenly a passerby turned the corner and passed right under the roof of an 8-story building. It’s good that he managed to dodge in time, otherwise the guys would have accidentally hit him in the head with a brick;
• Vasya got angry with his classmate when they were sitting in labor lessons. He swung the hammer over Petya's head; if he had not jumped back in time, disaster would have happened. Vasya was very scared and regretted his action, which could have ended sadly.

Self-education

Growing up, the child understands what character traits and bad habits he would like to give up, what personality traits he wants to develop and increase. This is where the path of self-education begins. In the process of self-education, a teenager can develop determination, hard work, and self-confidence. In general, self-education is the desire and ability to take responsibility for one’s own destiny. It includes the following principles:

• Planning your own time;
• Restraint, the ability to manage your emotions;
• The desire to complete everything;
• Self-control.

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Dictionary

1. Sociologists are scientists who study society based on statistical data and social surveys.

2. Apathy - an indifferent attitude towards the world around us, indifference.

3. Depression is a long-term depressed state of mind.

0 comments 03/06/17

In the psychological literature, no age is discussed in such detail and scrupulously as adolescence. Most parents await the onset of this stage and the inevitable difficulties associated with active activities with undisguised apprehension. Based on my professional experience, I can confidently say that such fears are not unfounded.

Boundaries of adolescence

Adolescence does not occur by clock or calendar. Age limits can shift in one direction or another depending on many factors: the degree of emotional and intellectual development of the child, family circumstances, and level of socialization.

Psychological portrait of a teenager

When we talk about personal characteristics, we should understand that we are talking about a person who is on the border of two fundamentally different states - childhood and adulthood. On the one hand, he loses the advantages of a child, while not having the capabilities of adults. This largely explains the nature of the contradictions inherent in children at this age. English psychologist and publicist Robin Skinner aptly noted that teenagers are adults for a minute, children for a minute.

Reasons for defiant behavior in adolescents

According to my observations, the main age-related task that boys and girls face during this period is separation from their parents. The authority of adults is steadily declining. Many parents experience this emotional gap painfully, often choosing the wrong strategy for their actions. Aggression becomes a predominant feature of many teenagers and often acts as a natural reaction to pressure from adults who are not ready to come to terms with the emancipation of their child. This also explains the fundamental disobedience and disrespect on the part of children.

Teenage laziness is another characteristic feature of this age. Completely different conditions and problems can be hidden behind youthful inertia. It is better for parents to try to understand them before reproaching their child for being stupid and unwilling to learn. Laziness can act as a unique form of passive protest, be a manifestation of anxiety and helplessness, or simply indicate excessive fatigue and overload (one should not write off the fact that during this period serious hormonal changes in the body occur).

What is it like to be a modern teenager?

The problems of a growing child are largely determined by social factors. Modern teenagers are faced with realities that were completely unfamiliar to their peers 10-15 years ago. For example, not the last place in the socialization of today's children is given to the Internet, and to be more specific, to social networks.

In the world of virtual communication, standards are imposed on teenagers that often do not correspond to their age. I systematically encounter problems of this kind when working with the correction of teenage behavior. Under the influence of replicated images, many boys and girls, already in adolescence, want to be wealthy, have complete independence from adults, and build serious relationships. The conflict between what is desired and reality increases the degree of psychological stress.

The day a child becomes a teenager is a very important period in his development. After all, he takes responsibility for the actions he commits, that is, he resorts to independence. Whether it will be difficult or difficult for him at this moment depends only on him.

The character formed by the end of a person’s childhood will help him in adolescence, as well as throughout his life. If the parents and the person himself were not able to instill in his soul firmness, determination, and independence in time, then he may not understand many things, and even the simplest, most ordinary situations will seem complicated.

A teenager who is able to consider and analyze a situation from different angles will easily cope with the tasks assigned to him. From all that has been said, we can conclude that it depends only on the person himself how long, easy or difficult it will be to go through each period of his life. A boy or girl who strives for self-realization in life will not have difficulties in meeting their goals, because they know what they need to achieve positive results before any task.

Social studies 5th grade

Several interesting essays

• Essay What does it mean to be a “grateful son”?

  Does everyone understand the word gratitude in the same way? To give a benefit means to share something good for free, to be grateful for an action. All facets of character, both positive and negative, are embedded in a person

In the modern world, almost every family, if not several family members, has its own car and very rarely uses any other type of transport. But no car ride compares to train travel

I love dogs very much and I am sure that they are the best friends! They can be different. They are small and large, shaggy and smooth-haired. The dog may have a pedigree, or it may be a simple mongrel. But she is also a man's friend

Looking at the world map I see new cities and countries. There are those cities in which I was, I now see their placement. But how many other countries and cities where I was not? It seems to me that they are waiting for my appearance there.

• Superfluous people in Russian literature of the 19th century

  The term “extra person” has now gained great popularity. Almost everyone knows what it means to be unclaimed, unnecessary, incorrect and not suitable for the established framework.

My opinion is that it is easy, and now I will try to prove it to you.

So, firstly, according to the stories of my parents, who lived in the village at my age, they had to do a lot of housework. And it happened that there was no free time at all to take a walk, laze around and have fun. Secondly, in the seventies and eighties, not everyone had such equipment as a TV, computer, tablet and mobile phone, and the Internet was generally invented only in 1983. Therefore, I had to look for ways to occupy, albeit small, free time. Mostly it was reading books, walking with friends. But everyone had their own personal business, which can now be called a hobby.

By the way, my father told me a lot about how he soldered radio elements. For example, that there was an airfield near his village, and they, having made their own receivers, constantly interfered with the military, who had to fine the families of the boys when they came and found these receivers. In one of these stories, dad’s neighbor, in order to divert suspicion from himself, threw the receiver into the borscht that his mother was cooking!

It was difficult to complete my homework; I had to go to libraries and look for the necessary literature. Now I went to the search engine, entered a query, clicked once and downloaded the desired essay or report. Life in the 21st century has become much more varied and simpler. Various gadgets have appeared that simplify the lives of modern youth.

To summarize, we can say that the availability of information and technology has made life easier, but by no means better, because people are fed up with everything and fewer and fewer people read, go for walks and develop in what they love. Perhaps I would even like to live earlier in order to feel the whole spirit of the Soviet Union and another time in general. And, until a time machine was invented, I can only judge this from the stories of my parents and history.

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Krasnodar region, Kalininsky district, Grivenskaya village

MBOU "Secondary school No. 13", 9th grade

IS IT EASY TO BE A TEENAGER?

Golubova Ksenia Romanovna

Introduction

1.2 Psychological changes

3.4 The world around

3.5 On the threshold of adolescence

Conclusion

List of used

Introduction

The field of social science is very broad and interesting; it contains many unresolved questions, mysterious and inexplicable phenomena. Adolescence is rightfully considered the most difficult, difficult, transitional period in a person’s life from childhood to adolescence. In psychology, adolescence is called the period of “storm and stress.” Why was I attracted to the problem of adolescence?

I chose this topic because I myself am currently a teenager, and it is the most relevant for me now. I wonder what is happening to us and why? I think my peers will also be interested in this. I decided to ask what problems are most pressing for school-age teenagers, what ways my peers see to solve these problems, and what their interests are in general.

Goal: To explore the characteristics of adolescence and find the answer to the question “Is it easy to be a teenager?”

1. Find out what the boundaries of adolescence are.

2. Identify the essence and characteristics of adolescence.

3. Conduct a survey among teenagers on the research topic.

4. Conduct an analysis of the questionnaire and literature on the topic, which will help identify the problems of adolescence.

Chapter 1. Boundaries of adolescence

To begin with, I decided to establish: what age is considered adolescence?

It turned out that this issue is controversial. Some limit it to the age of 12-15 years for girls and 13-16 years for boys, while for others this period covers 12-17 years, while others believe that this age is 11-15 years.

Physiological age limits are from 10 to 15 years.

Legal age limits: minors - up to 14 years old, from 14 to 18 - minors.

Adolescence is considered a transitional period: the teenager partly belongs to the group of children, and partly to the group of adults. In some cases, teenagers are treated as children, but more often as adults.

1.1 Changes in adolescence

Re-reading articles on the Internet, I noticed that the peculiarity of adolescence is that, on the one hand, in terms of the level of mental development it is a typical era of childhood, on the other hand, it is a person standing on the threshold of adulthood.

A teenager changes constantly - internally, externally, psychologically, and physiologically. He discovers a new appearance, new sensations, new needs and possibilities.

I wanted to understand in more detail what changes occur at this age?

1) physiological changes.

At this age, dramatic changes occur in the body and the process of puberty begins. A restructuring of the body occurs; in girls it occurs at the age of 11-13 years, and in boys - 13-15 years.

Height and weight increase, and in boys, on average, the “growth spurt” peaks at age 13 and ends after age 15, sometimes continuing until age 17. For girls, the growth spurt usually begins and ends two years earlier.

Changes in height and weight are accompanied by changes in body proportions. Intensive skeletal growth, reaching 4-7 cm. per year is ahead of muscle development. All this leads to some disproportion of the body, teenage angularity. Teenagers feel clumsy and awkward. Due to rapid development, difficulties arise in the functioning of the heart, lungs, and blood supply to the brain. Therefore, adolescents are characterized by changes in vascular and muscle tone. And most importantly, such changes cause a rapid change in physical condition and mood.

What do these changes lead to?

Thanks to the rapid growth and restructuring of the body in adolescence, interest in one's appearance sharply increases. A new image of the physical “I” is formed. Teenagers are acutely aware of any flaws in their appearance. Disproportion of body parts, clumsiness of movements, irregular facial features, skin losing its childlike purity, excess weight or thinness - everything is upsetting, and sometimes leads to a feeling of inferiority and isolation.

1.2 Psychological changes

Physiological features of development lead to disturbances in the activity of the adolescent’s nervous system. He becomes excitable, irritable, and hot-tempered.

The teenager is chained to himself, busy only with himself, all his thoughts and feelings revolve around his “I”, it seems to him that those around him are also constantly turning their gaze to him, evaluating, comparing - and probably wanting to humiliate him and put him in his place.

Interest in representatives of the other sex is growing. Information of a sexual nature becomes significant and important.

At this age, self-confidence, a desire for independence and recognition appear. The desire for independence is manifested in everything: in learning, in choosing friends, in managing time, in activities. The teenager wants to make important decisions himself and begins to actively defend his views, thoughts, and judgments.

3) ideological changes.

Simultaneously with the external, objective manifestations of adulthood, a feeling of adulthood also arises - the teenager’s attitude towards himself as an adult, the idea, the feeling of being to some extent an adult. He claims equal rights in relationships with adults and goes into conflict, defending his position. In addition, they develop their own tastes, views, assessments, and their own line of behavior. The teenager passionately defends them, even despite the disapproval of others.

During this period, adolescents form beliefs, they begin to talk about ideals, about the future, acquire a new, deeper and more generalized view of the world, and a parallel system of values ​​and worldviews appears.

Scientists believe that the formation of the foundations of a worldview, which begins during this period, is closely related to intellectual development. The teenager acquires adult logic of thinking.

Chapter 2. Survey results

Having considered theoretical issues related to adolescence, I decided to conduct research at school on an issue that interested me. To solve the intended problems, I conducted a questionnaire “Current problems of modern teenagers.” 108 teenagers from 13 to 17 years old, students of secondary school No. 13, took part in it. The questionnaire was anonymous and included 5 questions.

Table 1 Survey results.

The study allows us to conclude that modern teenagers are most concerned about the problem with their studies, in second place is the problem with their significant other, in third place are Internet addiction and boredom. Most teenagers believe that these are the problems that are the most significant and relevant in the modern world.

Table 2

Having analyzed the results obtained, we can conclude that in the modern teenage environment there are many different problems in solving which teenagers may need the help of loved ones.

Table 3

Based on the results of this question, we can conclude that most children, if they had problems, would turn to friends for help (since more teenagers chose this option). In second place is the option of turning to your parents for help, in third place to older comrades, then an independent decision. The teenagers were also given the opportunity to write their own answer to the question. Only a few took advantage of this opportunity. This is what they wrote: they will contact their class teacher and find a solution on the Internet. This result indicates that if they have problems, they will seek help.

Table 4

Most students either do not know institutions where teenagers can get help or find it difficult to answer. I believe that it is worth resolving all difficulties with parents, but if the problems are of a personal nature, then it is worth drawing the attention of all specialists working with children to the need to constantly inform children about the activities of those institutions that they could contact in case of problems.

Table 5

Based on the results of this question, it is obvious that most teenagers know the helpline. The children's helpline (8 800 2000 122) is used for counseling on complex topics that might be difficult to discuss in a personal conversation. And also to everyone that the conversation will remain strictly between him and the specialist.

Table 6

The majority of teenagers answered that if they had problems, they would not turn to the Children's Helpline for help. I am sure that they are ashamed to talk to a stranger about their experiences, or they have a poor understanding of the consultation process, and are not confident in the effectiveness of this type of help.

"The Difficulties of Life."

And how many insoluble problems accumulate in the everyday life of a teenager! Someone didn’t want to sit next to him at the desk. He was not invited to a group event held by his school friends. The guys he knew laughed at him. In the morning, when he woke up, he discovered new acne on his face. Parents demand that he “be an adult” and at the same time that he “stop pretending to be smart.” Adults treat them not like a small child, but also not like an adult, but like something in between.

Thus, after analyzing the results of the study, we can conclude that modern teenagers experience “difficulties in life”, that is, problems with parents, friends, with a significant other, difficulties in learning, boredom, depression. It is important to note that most students realize that in solving problems it is necessary to rely on the help of loved ones.

Having examined the results of the questionnaire, I believe that it is worth increasing the psychological culture of adolescents so that they can help not only themselves, but also each other.

Having looked at the problems related to adolescence, I decided to study why problems arise and methods for solving them.

teenager family friends age

Chapter 3. Problems of adolescence

3.1 No longer a child, but not yet an adult. Family problems

Each family is a whole world that seems simple and clear to a little person; here he is surrounded by warmth and care. Unfortunately, this world is not chosen by a child, it is given to him by fate. Here, not only the natural, but also the social dominates - often just hostile to a growing person. Family vices - be it discord between parents, dishonesty, drunkenness, rudeness - lead children to different reactions. Some do not resist, do not try to change something, and thus, as it were, lose themselves to repeating far from the best home models; others, having hated this world - be it dishonest profit, debauchery, cynicism - try to break out of it, are drawn to goodness, to the light, and then either leaving home for a school without walls and desks - a school of life, development contrary to the laws that exist in family.

There is, perhaps, not a single family where disagreements between parents have never arisen. Even a single incident of quarrel makes children anxious. But the consequences for children, in particular for teenagers, will be immeasurably more dramatic; if their parents fail to maintain harmony in family relationships, things will reach a deep conflict, then the expression “children always suffer” becomes absolutely true.

As the survey results show, conflicts between parents and teenagers often arise due to simple misunderstanding. It would seem that what’s terrible about this? But these conflicts can later result in stress, disappointment in parents, and isolation. A child has a need to trust a close adult, to have protection from him and, under the banner of this protection, to take further steps into the world around him, because a teenager, whatever one may say, needs this, since he is not yet a fully formed personality. If a child is taken out of protection, he changes his behavior. He loses his sense of security and confidence that he can cope with difficulties. Fear is born, and with it aggressiveness and a sense of contradiction arise. Some children develop a tendency to denunciation, cynicism, and become distrustful. Such character traits create the preconditions for disharmonious personality development and complicate the teenager’s relationships with peers, and in some cases the teenager joins “bad company.” Parents are often themselves to blame for the decline in their authority; they notice this with surprise and disapproval. “Adults must realize that the aggressive character traits of the child, which they criticize, developed in him as a result of a defensive reaction of the psyche for internal self-defense, for self-defense,” thus, the “defensive argument” of the parents loses its basis: “I’m an adult, I know better.

No one knows a child better than the parents, before whose eyes he grew up, learned, and developed. And who does a teenager know better than the members of his family, who communicate with him around the clock - with feelings and consciousness. And yet, not everything is so simple and clear. Parents really know a lot about their child, but the older the child gets, the more aspects of his life are closed to parents.

3.2 Tell me who is your friend? Teenager and his friends

Still, the main thing is: reciprocity, affection, as if joining another soul, connection, selflessness, affection, benevolent acceptance of who you are, love and respect. This is a truly complete, necessary and fairly broad explanation, to which one cannot add or subtract, which is why every person has many friends and acquaintances, and several friends.

It would seem that there are no problems, but in fact there are significant ones.

A friend often becomes a reference point, a model for a teenager.

The question of what kind of friend a friend should be is one of the most pressing for a teenager. A friend is needed not only for healthy emotional well-being. Looking for a sincere friend, a teenager closely peers into the actions and relationships of people. Friendship enriches a teenager’s social experience and strengthens socially valuable qualities: respect for a person, sensitivity, attention, goodwill, willingness to help in trouble. And it all depends on the friend, like the friend, like the teenager.

The teenager’s relationship with his friend becomes more and more mature: he places high human demands on his friend. If we translate the thoughts and feelings of a teenager into adult language, they would sound like this: a friend must understand, empathize, sympathize, moreover, he must always and in everything be like a part of my “I”. The guys are looking for something that meets their new needs. In these searches, passions and disappointments arise, hopes are ignited and crushed, and to a large extent, the ideals of adolescents are formed, tested and honed. Ideals create a kind of psychological perspective for a teenager, and the road to it is paved along closer landmarks that are accessible to direct observation and imitation. These close reference points, models are either the adults around him or his fellow students, interests and hobbies.

Here are the opinions of teenagers about a good friend: “he helps in everything, never refuses a request, won’t leave you in trouble, stands up for the weak, sympathizes in troubles, doesn’t blame others, won’t let you down, won’t betray you, treats your work conscientiously, not greedy , can give sensible advice, does not quarrel over trifles, keeps secrets, is frank and, finally, in general, “knows how to truly be friends.”

Isn't that a solid list? But on the one hand, these are qualities that speak of a high moral character, this is a kind of moral code. On the other hand, these qualities directly relate to the guys’ relationships with each other and are manifested in relationships, in friendship. Very high demands are placed on a friend: a teenager is a maximalist in everything, he needs everything at once.

It is very important for every teenager to achieve respect and recognition from their comrades, it is important to be “not the last” among them, to know that you are valued, considered and respected. But it's not always easy to do it yourself. One does not see his shortcomings, the other cannot show his strengths, the third is timid and overly shy, it is necessary for the teenager to be supported by the parents, give advice, and not remain indifferent to the child’s quarrel with a friend, because it is difficult for him to survive this without support.

Normal development is impossible without communication with peers. Friends are the natural environment that a teenager vitally needs. From his friends he finds a much-needed assessment of his knowledge and skills, qualities, abilities and capabilities. From his friends he finds sympathy, empathy, a response to all his spiritual joys and hardships, which so often seem insignificant to adults.

3.3 The difficulties and love of adolescence

Relations between male and female representatives have always existed; even in kindergarten, interest in the opposite sex arises. And what can we say about adolescence, when the child develops both morally and physiologically. It is at this age that this very feeling, meaningful and important, invades a person’s life.

It is difficult to describe the feelings of a teenager when he is in love. It’s different for everyone, everyone goes through it, for some it may be unrequited, for others it’s reciprocal. When love comes to a teenager, he most likely will not be inclined to talk about it left and right; he will keep his feeling from others. “After all, that love that is generous with words is so unreliable, so eloquent,” Tirso de Molina wrote long ago. And Sukhomlinsky wrote that the best conversation between young people about love is silence.

Each person gradually develops an internal “ideal model” of a representative of the other sex, and each specific person is more or less consciously compared with it. In some cases, a kind of “impression” of the first impression is observed - a state of falling in love occurs without further critical analysis. With age, the ideal model becomes more and more abstract, and a specific person is expected to conform to it more and more, which is not always realistic.

The highest and specific form of sexual desire is love. Love is a deeply individual feeling; unlike other manifestations of sexual desire, it is necessarily directed at a specific person. This feeling significantly expands the horizons of a person’s perception of everything around him, gives him the ability to see a lot from a new side, to better feel the beauty and rhythm of life. Love reveals both the general level of human development and his moral potential, as well as his spiritual maturity.

There is an expression that “love is a sexual instinct, ennobled by reason.” How to understand this? What exactly is the ennobled character of love? Firstly, the fact that the object of love is perceived in all the richness of qualities, traits, and properties of a person. Secondly, there is an awareness of one’s mental state: oneself as a subject of love, and it as an object of love, and the nature of one’s attitude towards it. As a result, love leaves its mark on all relationships with this person, as well as on relationships with other people and the perception of everything around.

Communication between girls and boys often causes condemnation from adults. At the same time, they try in every possible way to limit this communication. However, nothing good can be achieved in this way, and primarily because, on the one hand, sexual desire cannot normally be suppressed, and this would be unnatural, and on the other hand, because girls and boys are deprived of the opportunity to learn to understand and evaluate each other . Adults are embarrassed and even shocked, for example, by distraction from school, the possibility of pregnancy, or economic lack of independence. You cannot deprive young people of the right to feelings, otherwise this can result in serious consequences that will be difficult to correct, and sometimes impossible. Thus, in the work “Honest Komsomol”, the mother’s attitude towards the teenager’s feelings turns into a tragedy. It’s terrible when a teenager encounters indifference from adults or even ridicule, and there is no one to help him if something happens. Most adults are convinced that a teenager does not know how to love, cannot, and does not understand what love is, which means he cannot feel, which means he is not a person, these are the only conclusions that come to mind. No, this is a person, and he can feel, and feels, he has a mental-intellectual life, prompted by physiological needs, natural, like hunger.

Many adults tend to scold modern youth. This sin is not new, even in ancient times there were statements from elders condemning youth. I think, however, the main thing that adults should do is to try to correctly understand the teenager. If subsequent generations were worse than previous ones, there would be no social progress. What hinders adults in relationships with teenagers is the lack of willingness to look at this or that issue from different points of view. Parents seem to be initially convinced that there is always one truth and an adult is its recognized bearer. As a result, adults find themselves unable to, at least temporarily, take a different point of view and understand the motives of behavior. Another hindrance is the fact that many parents cannot or do not want to remember themselves at the same age, and if they do, it is only to emphasize that they “were not like that” (implying: better).

It hurts a teenager when he sees that the person he loves pays less attention to him than to others, so jealousy arises. In essence, jealousy is the fear of someone else's authority. It's always comparing yourself to someone. Jealousy limits the capabilities of a person, both the one who is jealous and the one who is jealous. And if you can’t do without it completely, then at least the forms of its manifestation should be civilized, not humiliating for both.

It is important to learn to solve problems in a civilized manner when love has left or a new one has met. And the question immediately arises, was there love? There was, but the blindness passed, and responsibility did not come, but attachment arose. Or you have truly met your true, genuine self, when life seems impossible without this person. Some people search all their lives, find everything that is, from their point of view, more genuine, real, and do it completely sincerely.

I did not conduct any surveys or questionnaires on this topic, I probably don’t even need to explain why, this question is very personal, nevertheless, everything said above, in my opinion, is true and justified by my little personal experience.

Love is the highest manifestation of human life. Adults should respect this feeling, be more sensitive to it, understand and support the teenager when he is worried. Love is important, and at least sometimes a teenager must look at the person he loves with his mind, the main thing is not to make a mistake, otherwise, again, disappointment will follow. Love is a component of human life, but we must remember that there are other important values.

3.4 The world around

Hobbies among teenagers constitute a category of mental phenomena, structural components of personality, located somewhere between instincts and drives, on the one hand, and inclinations and interests, on the other. Unlike drives, hobbies do not have a direct connection with instincts, with the sphere of unconditioned reflexes. Unlike interests and inclinations, hobbies are always more emotionally charged, although they do not constitute the main work orientation of the individual and are not a professional activity. I highlight the following Hobbies:

3.5 On the threshold of adolescence

The road to the world of an adult is very difficult; before a teenager becomes an independent, accomplished person with certain character traits, desires and his place in life, he needs to solve many problems that will determine his future fate.

First of all, this is a choice: the choice of a profession, the choice of a person with whom a teenager may form a family. The problem of choice is very difficult and interesting in the modern world. And first of all, it is important in childhood and especially adolescence, when an individual has to make many, many choices. “Choice is an instant, impulsive act according to a binary system (yes or no) or a chain of thoughts, a struggle of passions, overcoming contradictions.” You can think for a long time and at some point make a decision; There are situations that allow you to slowly sort through options, but by no means less often in life are there moments when a decision is necessary immediately. It’s just important not to get confused, and even more important to want and be able to find one way or another. Choice is, of course, a complex, diverse act of consciousness. And it includes a lot that happens either over time or in a compressed moment. Every choice is forced by expediency, i.e. leads to the goal a person has set for himself. Of course, you can act, or even live, just like that, by inertia, passively and reach adulthood, but such vegetation is not typical of youth. Another possibility is also possible: a goal arises reflexively, as a strong desire to achieve something. But it is still present, because it expresses the main driver of our activity - need. The firmer and more conscious the goal, the stronger its influence in a dispute of doubts, the greater the likelihood of winning it. It all depends on what kind of person it is, and the possibility of error depends on this. Some are quick to make decisions, others are slow-witted, some like to discuss problems with friends, others make decisions within themselves, some are skeptics, pessimists, and some are optimists. But with every choice a person changes himself, even if he made a mistake, then this only accumulates experience, and this certainly affects other situations. There are teenagers who, when they make a mistake, become withdrawn, they develop complexes, and here experience accumulates, only negative - the experience of doubts resolved by a wrong choice. And this is where the question of admitting a mistake arises. Will a person of integrity have the courage to admit a mistake? If not, it’s a disaster: the illness will go deep and become a character trait when they blame others for any of their failures. If yes, the most important victory is victory over yourself; then the experience of mistakes becomes a fundamental acquisition of a person, or rather not the experience of mistakes, but the experience of their consciousness, understanding of cause-and-effect relationships, experience that helps not to be shy in front of life, but more and more consciously make decisions leading to the least costs, i.e. manage your life yourself, not being afraid of difficulties, but striving to overcome them.

Choosing a profession or choosing an educational institution is the most important question that arises for children after 9th and 11th grade. Many teenagers choose a profession based on various factors:

A teenager chooses a profession for company, i.e., with a friend

A teenager chooses a profession based on the opinions of his parents

A teenager chooses a profession because it is prestigious or has high wages, or both

A teenager chooses a profession because he is inclined towards it (at school he was more successful in this area, it is interesting and exciting for him).

In fact, the accuracy of a choice depends on the extent to which it is based on foresight, the expected result. But foresight is always probabilistic in nature, and the degree of probability, again, is determined by experience. The circle closes... And adults will help resolve this circle; they can help identify some kind of disposition towards the profession. It’s bad if adults do not accept a teenager’s decision; it seems insignificant to them, overshadowing something important for adults, including teenagers, their present and especially their future.

An equally important issue is the choice of a life partner, although it is a little early to think about this, but a teenager at the end of adolescence already feels fully and sincerely. Of course, the feeling of gender comes much earlier, and falling in love can appear even from kindergarten, but when moving into adolescence, a teenager perceives the people around him more acutely, and love inevitably overtakes him.

The variety of situations and circumstances determines the choice. Only these circumstances are outside a person, this is his environment, evoking thoughts and feelings, giving rise to attitudes and communication, to which not a single person should be unrequited. But - whatever they are - they alone cannot and should not strictly predetermine our actions. They are made by the man himself!

The writer Tatyana Tolstaya once expressed the idea: “I think a terrible time has come when you need to decide everything yourself. No conciliarity will help here.” The most beautiful and the most terrible thing is the inevitability of choice, decision. Beautiful - like the chilling anticipation in the first moment of vigor after jumping into the river on a hot day, i.e. something that then promises the joyful freshness of newness, a sense of control over one’s body, victory over one’s own fear. The terrible thing is inevitability, fear of the future, refusal of other options, taking upon oneself full, in essence, responsibility for the consequences, for large and small losses, which are always, in general, inevitable. And no conciliarity (group, family, collective, company) will change anything at the moment of the decision, because it has been made.

It’s true that it’s not easy to get out of all the unique diversity of life’s phenomena, processes, human feelings and actions. Society needs everyone to find themselves where the riches of their personality, abilities and talents will be most fully revealed, where they will prove irreplaceable precisely because of the uniqueness of their individuality and the desire to lead others. But universal harmony is unlikely to exist on earth; everything depends on the emerging adult personality.

Conclusion

Growing up, a teenager has to solve a lot of difficult problems. In addition to the usual school ones, there are other tasks that each of us has to solve. That's what they call them - life tasks. American psychologist Robert Havighurst identified eight tasks in his book Developmental Tasks and Education:

Acceptance of your appearance and the ability to effectively control your body.

Forming new and more mature relationships with peers of both sexes.

Acceptance of male and female roles.

Achieving emotional independence from parents and other adults.

Preparation for a career that could provide economic independence.

Preparation for marriage and family life.

The emergence of a desire to take responsibility for oneself and society.

Acquiring a system of values ​​and ethical principles that can guide your life.

There is no escape from solving these problems. A little late, put it off until last, as people are used to doing, write - it’s gone. If you haven’t completed eight tasks, consider that you missed the train called “Adulthood.” All problems in life must be solved in due time. This is the unwritten rule of social life. One way or another, we touched on these tasks.

Solving the problems facing a teenager requires overcoming considerable difficulties.

Adolescence is called the transition from childhood to adulthood. At this age, a person’s appearance and behavior changes. He has to reconsider his attitude, make his own decisions, develop a worldview and ideals. A teenager does not always understand well what is happening to him. The mood often changes, grievances are experienced more difficult, comments from parents and teachers irritate.

These changes are characterized by the following points:

1. increased attention to oneself, worries about physical development,

2. sudden change in mood,

3. the emergence of conflicts with parents, teachers, peers, friends,

4. the emergence of a desire to appear older than one’s age,

5. the desire to stand out among peers.

Therefore, being a teenager is not easy. He needs to adapt to new conditions, accept himself and ensure that others accept and appreciate him - as an adult, as a person. As a child, his behavior was controlled by his parents, but adult life requires him to make his own decisions. And how teenagers solve their problems, how they develop relationships with peers, parents, and teachers, determines their assessment of the problem “Is it easy to be a teenager?”

This is confirmed by the results of research conducted at the school. Adults and socio-psychological services work directly with teenagers, so they know how difficult it is for them. Teenagers face all these difficulties directly. Parents who have problems with their children also consider this age “difficult.”

Thus, to summarize the work, it is necessary to note the importance of adolescence for the entire development of personality. I believe that I need to continue researching this issue because applying this knowledge in real life is important, both for me and for my peers. The data from the results of this study can be used in the work of subject teachers, social educators and school psychologists, since every day they are forced to solve not just one, but a whole range of teenage problems. You can also use the data obtained in preparation for lessons, parent-teacher meetings, and in individual meetings with parents and adolescents. Despite significant scientific achievements and the presence of a huge literature on the problem of adolescence, adolescents themselves and their parents are poorly informed in this area, which leads to significant difficulties and pain during this period.

List of used literature

1. Kazanskaya V.G. Teenager. Difficulties of growing up: a book for psychologists, teachers, parents. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2006.

2. Kolesov D.V., Khripkova A.G. Boy - teenager - young man: A manual for teachers. - M.: Education, 1982.

3. Kon I.S. Psychology of early adolescence.

4. Mukhina V.S. Developmental psychology: phenomenology of development, childhood, adolescence: Textbook for students. universities - 7th ed., stereotype. - M.: Publishing Center "Academy", 2002.

5. Friedman L.M. Psychology of Children and Adolescents: A Handbook for Teachers and Educators. - M.: Publishing House of the Institute of Psychotherapy, 2003.

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