Good manners is a personality quality, one of the many characteristics of a person.

Society sees it as obligatory; it’s not for nothing that parents, teachers and other older comrades try to raise it in childhood. It is difficult to argue: it is beneficial for society to deal with educated people who sacredly respect its laws.

Good breeding implies politeness, tact, respect, adherence to the rules of etiquette and generally accepted norms of behavior, but that’s not all.

Well-mannered behavior reveals a person’s internal culture, his good habits and the best character traits.

Where does education begin?

What do parents, and in their absence, the entire kindergarten staff do, day and night? That's right, they educate. They sow good and eternal things, instill good manners - with carrots, sticks, their own example and long conversations.

In many ways, good manners is a habit developed over the years, a stable skill of competent behavior in society.

From childhood, the child’s most glorious traits are nurtured, his virtues are nourished, and his shortcomings are eradicated.

In parallel with this, work is underway to teach the baby proper behavior in society.

But you shouldn’t think that a well-mannered person is a real example of high-quality parental training. Not at all!

It is impossible to simply “instill good manners” in a child and tell him what norms of behavior in society are now in fashion.

Many mothers and fathers believe that it is enough to teach the little one etiquette and instill in the brain respect for others (usually elders), and the job is done - the upbringing was successful!

Perhaps such a child will say “magic words”, use a fork correctly and remove his elbows from the table, but will he be truly well-mannered - inside, under the superficial politeness and tact?

Good manners criteria: such a different trait

There is a widespread understanding of civility in society, which includes courtesy, restraint, self-control and politeness.

Well-mannered people are far from hysterics and squabbles, do not spread rumors and avoid vulgarity. A well-behaved young man, a true gentleman, a modest and decent lady, a child who respectfully addresses his elders... Everything that was valued three hundred years ago is still in demand today.

This lies on the surface, however, true upbringing is a much deeper concept: only a balance between a person’s beliefs, thoughts, knowledge and his actions gives rise to a harmonious personality.

When words and gestures are one thing, but something else is in the heart, a person literally falls apart into its component parts.

In philosophical reflections, an educated person is seen as a standard of education and moral perfection. This is an intelligent, impeccably behaved individual who seriously cares about ethics and morality.

Usually good manners are characteristic of decent, highly moral, tolerant and altruistic individuals. It is difficult to meet an egoist and scoundrel with this vital trait. But this is not an immutable rule: the world has seen thousands of well-mannered thieves, deceivers and lazy people!

A well-mannered person or not - how can you tell?

A well-mannered person can be seen by his actions: all his behavior is regarded by others approvingly, as positive, respectful and adequate.

Not causing discomfort to others, not interfering with other people’s activities, not violating freedom are important skills for such a person.

For example, going out naked is rude and unethical, contrary to moral laws, social dogmas and violates the rights of other people.

If society sees in a person’s actions a disrespectful attitude, negative connotations, offensive intentions, excessive selfishness and ostentation, an insatiable desire to flout boundaries and social rules, then it will quickly try to expel this “troublemaker” from the circle.

Good manners is the ability to control oneself in moments of strong emotions, a way to calmly present oneself to society without unnecessary egocentrism or shockingness, and the talent to read the faces of others and be sincerely interested in communicating with them.

In addition, a well-mannered person is obligatory (does what he promises), responsible, friendly and does not have the habit of being late. This is where his respect for his interlocutors or colleagues is manifested.

He responds with dignity, does not stoop to rudeness and insults, accepts battle with honor and has remarkable self-control. He is friendly and caring, easy to communicate and pleasant from all sides!

State Educational Institution "Secondary School No. 6 of Orsha"

Good manners-

necessary

personality quality.

Class teacher:Zhgirova O.V.

A well-mannered person is one who

to whom own politeness

not only familiar and easy,

but also pleasant.

D.S. Likhachev .

Target: help students form a solid understanding of what good manners is, what kind of person can be considered well-mannered.

Tasks:

To develop in students a desire for self-esteem and self-analysis;

Arouse a desire for self-education and self-development.

Preliminary preparation for class:

Questions:

- By what character qualities do you judge a person’s level of education?

- Who from our class do you consider to be a well-mannered person?

Class form : conversation on a moral and ethical topic.

Progress of the conversation.

To create friendly relations and a good mood among the participants in the conversation, use the game “Let's compliment each other.”

Game instructions: each child has a red heart with the name of a classmate to whom he should compliment. The guys exchange hearts with pleasant praises for each other.

1. Teacher's word .

You are very familiar with the words of the old song about school: “...they teach you to be friends with a good book and to be well-mannered at school...”. Let's talk about education. To be educated - what does it mean?

( In the usual understanding, good manners is compliance with certain rules of good manners accepted in a given society.In a broader sense, good manners are the result of upbringing, and upbringing is already a serious thing)

What characteristics should a person have so that we can call him well-mannered?

(a paper figure of a man is attached to the board, diverging rays are drawn from it)

Duty and responsibility responsibilityresponsibility

Thrift

Discipline

Honesty and truthfulness

Partnership

Simplicity and modesty

Kindness and responsiveness

Politeness

Conscientious attitude to work

Responsible attitude towards learning

Student message .

Politeness

The ancient Greeks argued that you had to be a very outstanding person to allow yourself to be impolite. It is politeness that softens morals, prevents quarrels, pacifies irritation and hatred, forces restraint, and contributes to the emergence of love and respect. Politeness can be learned, but there is also innate politeness that comes from the soul, and not from upbringing.

Polite rules prohibit:

Enter an official institution wearing a hat (for men) and talking loudly (for both sexes);

Make noise, disturb and irritate others;

Criticize someone's religious beliefs;

To humiliate someone's nationality;

Laugh at other people's mistakes and mistakes;

Call your interlocutor out loud with offensive epithets;

Send a letter or gift to the return address;

Speak in a disrespectful tone about your interlocutor’s relatives;

Distort first and last names;

Open someone else's bag, look into it if it is open, examine the contents of someone else's pockets;

Unauthorizedly pulling out the drawers of someone else's desk and rearranging their contents both at work and at home, as well as opening someone else's closet, cupboard, or pantry.

Group work .

The class is divided into three groups. Each group is given a card with a task. Students are given 3-5 minutes to discuss.

Card.

What quality of a well-mannered person are we talking about?

The immutable rule of a well-mannered person is not to open or read other people's letters. There are many questions that a well-mannered person will not ask: “What did Vladik tell you in secret?”, “Where did your mother go last night?” While in someone else's house, a well-mannered person does not open drawers of tables, cabinets, etc., does not move from one room to another without an invitation, and does not open other people's bags and briefcases without permission, even if they belong to close people. (Delicacy. Being sensitive means respecting other people's lives and not poking your nose into someone else's business.)

Card.

What quality of a well-mannered person does Masha lack?

Vladik jumped out from the table without finishing lunch, barely had time to jump onto a departing bus, and while running across the street he almost got hit by a car. And here he is at the appointed place, Masha is not there. He sighed with relief. A quarter of an hour later he sighed again, but in a different way. Masha appeared an hour later. A familiar picture, isn't it? And, of course, you have a girlfriend who you always have to wait for. They are waiting for her, getting ready to leave the house, because she has not yet styled her curls properly; they wait on the street - because she needs to thoroughly examine all the shop windows; they wait until she – “just a minute, I’ll just drop off the magazine” – runs to her friend’s; waiting for her to come out of the bathroom - because there is a mirror there! Such a person is a thief, he steals your time.

(Punctuality is the highest form of politeness).

Card.

What quality of a well-mannered person does this hero lack?

I asked a friend: “Who is this ugly girl in the blue dress?” I heard in response: “My sister.” He turned his back to the elderly man. Said at a friendly party: “Pleasant evening today. I didn’t expect it at all.” He offered his fat guest a salad: “Eat it, don’t be afraid, it won’t make you fat.” He said at a party: “Carrot pies are terrible disgusting.” And that’s when they are served. Without thinking, he offended, upset, and embarrassed people. And even though it is obvious to everyone that there is no malicious intent in the hero’s actions, it is still very unpleasant.

(Tactfulness - the desire not to offend, cordiality, understanding the feelings of another person).

Teacher : Thus, a well-mannered person is one who knows how to behave among people, who is clean and tidy, who always has everything in order, who takes care of other people’s time.

A.P. Chekhov said about educated people:“Well-mannered people respect the human personality, and therefore they are always condescending, soft, polite and compliant... They do not lie even about trifles. A lie is offensive to the listener and humiliates him in the eyes of the speaker. They don’t show off, they behave on the street the same way as at home... They are not talkative, they don’t interfere with frankness when they are not asked... They are not interested in such fake diamonds as meeting celebrities... These are well-mannered people.”

What puts A.P. first? Chekhov, speaking about good manners? –First of all, it is a respectful attitude towards people. A person lives among people and he must measure his actions against how others will perceive them.

Not only A.P. thinks so. Chekhov, but also another famous writer L.N. Tolstoy: "Of all the sciences that a person should know, the most important is the science of how to live, doing as little evil as possible and as much good as possible.”

This is a very difficult science, because when performing any action, a person must think about how this action will affect other people.

Solving situational problems.

You have an elderly neighbor living next door who often complains that you play the piano just when she (he) needs to rest.

Here’s the harmful one,” you react to her (his) complaint, “every time she goes to bed at 2 p.m. And for me this is the most convenient time.

Are you right?

At home, you treat your things very carefully and carefully. Clean your room, clean your things. And at school you draw on desks, carelessly clean the classroom. Can someone be considered well-mannered if they treat things differently at school and at home?

Come up with a continuation of the following situations:

Kolya took chewing gum from Seryozha’s bag without permission, and Seryozha noticed and...

The slacker was jealous of the enterprising man and wrote a false letter to him, and he...

Game.

Look closely at yourself. What qualities of good manners in yourself could you name? Write these qualities down on a piece of paper. Now pass the piece of paper to your desk neighbor, who puts a “+” if he agrees; “-” if you do not agree; "*" if in doubt. Now we pass the leaves across the desk. The task is the same. After this, we return the piece of paper to the owner.

Anything to think about?

Reflection.

Cultivating good manners requires constant practice. If you begin to behave differently depending on the circumstances, at home and in public, you will never acquire the skills of good behavior. For those guys who are inclined to play a double role - one at home, the other for show - I offer this game.

Each of us probably has an acquaintance whose opinion we value very much, on whom we want to make a favorable impression. We think about this person, try to be in his company more often. Now imagine that this friend is always nearby and constantly watching you. It will change you beyond recognition. You will no longer be able to pull your younger brother's ear or curse your friend. Under the gaze of this man, it would never even occur to you, when returning from school, to throw your coat into the corner, lick the plate, or mutter something rude to your mother. So your imagination will help you behave decently at home, eat normally and be polite to others. And after a while, a crust of bread in a dirty hand will no longer seem so tasty, the bad manners of your comrades will outrage you, and the disorder in your apartment will irritate you. Some more time will pass, and you will feel that good manners have become your habit and internal need.

Educational psychology is an area that occupies a central place in both psychology and pedagogy. Such outstanding personalities as N.K. Krupskaya, A.S. Makarenko, A.P. Pinkevich, P.P. Blonsky and others did a lot to formalize the theory of pedagogy in the 19th and 20th centuries.

What is good manners?

Today, education and good manners are phenomena of great significance. Of course, modern society requires new views and ideas. It should not be argued that the principles on which the psychology of education is based are outdated. They simply require change and transformation in connection with social development. This problem is becoming increasingly relevant in the scientific world and requires rethinking.

The study of such an issue as human upbringing is justified by methods and approaches of pedagogical science, which are characterized by reliability and validity. Despite the fact that pedagogy is an independent science, it uses methods from related sciences - philosophy, political science, psychology, ethics, sociology and history, and others.

Education is one of the most important axiological components that is part of the social structure of the individual. But the definition doesn't end there. Also, education is a system of social concepts that determine a person’s life (for example, relationships, desires, values, actions).

Expression of good manners

Personality education combines general and individual aspects, which are expressed in needs, values, desires, motives and orientations. They have a behavioral form, manifested in the following:

• A person’s relationship with the outside world and his life.
• Attitude to the achievements of civilization and cultural values.
• Striving to realize your goals and potential opportunities.
• A sense of community with the people around you.
• Respect for the rights and freedoms of your neighbor.
• Active life and social position.
• Treating yourself as a bearer of individuality.

Determining the level of education should concern not only an individual person, but also entire groups of people and nations. To achieve this character trait, they use the systematic activities of state and public institutions, characterized by purposefulness, to create special conditions that cultivate good manners. This process is called education.

Good manners is a characteristic that gives a person more opportunities to do a lot of good for other people and for himself. The socialization of an individual includes the process of education, and it is given no small importance.

Determining the level of education

A set of methods and techniques aimed at studying the level of education, the formation of those traits and personal properties of a person that manifest themselves in relationships between people is called the diagnosis of education. Let's take a closer look at this concept.

It is quite difficult to diagnose the level of education of a student, because the procedure itself can be influenced by various factors of the external and internal environment. For example, the lack or unreliability of research methods, the environment and much more.

In order to be able to determine the level of education of a student or adult, the data obtained as a result of the diagnosis are compared with established standards. The difference between the initial and final indicators tells us about the effectiveness of the educational process.

Classification of education criteria

As mentioned above, the reference characteristics are the criteria of good breeding, which are currently divided into different subtypes. The most popular types will be presented in this article.

The first classification divides the criteria into 2 groups:

1. Those that have a connection with phenomena that are not noticeable to the teacher - plans, motivational sphere and beliefs of a person.

2. Those that are associated with clarifying the external form of the products of education - judgments, assessments and actions.

The second classification divides the criteria into the following:

• Meaningful. They determine the extent to which the content side of education (knowledge, social behavior, and useful habits) has been mastered.
• Estimated. They are aimed at a clear diagnosis of an individual quality, that is, the level of its formation is determined.

The third classification identifies the following criteria for good breeding:

1. Private. They are used to obtain intermediate results in the education process.
2. General. They express the level of education that a team or individual has achieved.

Technology for diagnosing good breeding

In the process of researching such quality as good manners, scientists advise following technology, which includes a number of stages.

Firstly, The experimenter organizes a class meeting where each student can be discussed, or a team meeting. Only statements should be polite and not carry too much negativity.

Secondly, subjects are asked to give an independent assessment and characterization of themselves on the entire scale.

Thirdly, A meeting of teachers is organized, where they discuss the results of the study and compare them with the source materials and educational criteria.

Fourthly, Each student receives an overall grade on the education scale.

Fifthly, The results obtained are presented in tables and diagrams.

School and teachers are of no small importance in shaping a student’s upbringing, but the role of the family in raising a child is even greater.

How is education studied?

Let's look at some diagnostic methods:

• Observation. This method allows you to obtain information about behavioral manifestations in different life situations.
• Conversation. During the diagnostic conversation, the experimenter can already determine the relative level of education of the student.
• Questionnaire. Scientists have developed a special test called the “Good manners Questionnaire.” The subject fills out a form with questions, and the experimenter analyzes the content of the answers.
• Method of analysis and statistical methods of data processing.

And some more diagnostic methods

When studying the phenomenon under consideration, we must not forget that, by determining the level of education, the experimenter also diagnoses the moral essence of a person. In connection with this fact, individual conclusions about upbringing may include data reflecting all personality characteristics, because these qualities are closely interrelated.

Diagnosis of good manners also includes analysis of activity products, etc. It is worth noting that not a single technique is completely universal, because there are some requirements for their use. Therefore, if an experimenter wants to obtain voluminous, reliable data, he must use a number of methods and the entire complex of diagnostic tools.

Using multiple methods provides the following options:

1. A clear and complete analysis of personality traits.
2. Reduced subjectivity in assessing education, because the obtained facts were obtained from various diagnostic methods.
3. Determining the disadvantages and shortcomings in the educational process of students.

Pitfalls

Thanks to the computerization of diagnostic technology, it has become much easier to obtain and process information on educational levels, and general conclusions indicate the reliability and reliability of the available data. But any pedagogical technology, including diagnostic technology, has both advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly, the diagnosis of good manners is an area that has not been sufficiently studied, and therefore its methodological basis has not been sufficiently developed. A teacher planning a diagnosis will be faced with the unreliability of certain methods, and the results he receives will not be sufficiently accurate and reliable.

Secondly, many methods used in diagnostics are labor-intensive and require a fairly large amount of time. For example, the accuracy of the observation results will depend on its duration.

Third, certain tools, such as questionnaires and interviews, are unlikely to provide accurate and reliable data.

The use of various methods and techniques for diagnosing good manners allows the teacher to holistically consider this phenomenon. Of course, there are some shortcomings and errors in the presented technology, but specialists successfully use it in their practical activities.

Family influence

Probably, there is no need to remind again that the role of the family in raising a child is simply enormous, and what is laid down in childhood has a strong impact on a person’s personality and life in the future. At preschool age, the main authority is the parents, and it is they who form many of the inclinations laid down by the father and mother at school age.

If a child receives a sufficient amount of love, care, attention and positive emotions in a family, then he will grow up well-mannered. A negative atmosphere, conflicts and quarrels affect even the smallest person. The role of the family in raising a child is not exaggerated, because in such conditions the child’s life position is formed.

It is also worth noting that parents themselves are role models. If good manners is a trait of the mother and father, then the child will have it too. For example, a mother’s anxiety is easily transmitted to the child through invisible emotional threads, just like other aspects. Children will absorb good manners and politeness in communication from their family environment like a sponge. The father's aggressive and unrestrained behavior will result in the child fighting with other children.

The importance of parental authority

Mother and father should not lose sight of different aspects of education. You need to explain everything to the baby in a language he understands. Having matured, the child will no longer need parental moral teaching and will begin to protest. Do not leave the child alone with the problem, be there, help, but do not do everything for him, because the child must gain his own experience.

A family is a safe territory where you can teach and prepare a little person for different situations and form different models of behavior. Parents show the child what is good and what is bad, what can be done and what cannot be done. Remember that you are an ideal, an example for your child. If you teach your child that lying is bad, then don’t lie to him yourself.

Instead of a conclusion

It happens that parents cannot find a common solution regarding upbringing, and conflicts arise. The child does not need to see or hear this at all. Remember that this is a new personality with its own capabilities, resources, desires, and not just a parental extension that can realize your unfulfilled hopes. Personality education is a difficult process, but a very interesting one!

To other people.

As for good manners, the specific list of them varies in different cultures, and therefore good manners are sometimes defined as the ability and habit to follow the rules of behavior adopted in the reference group.

If you take the manners of the English Queen as a model, it is not obvious that you will make a corresponding impression in the East. You may be considered a not very well-mannered person if you do not burp during meals (this is accepted in the East as a sign of food satisfaction) and pour a full cup of tea for guests, while in the East well-mannered people pour tea little by little for dear guests to show their readiness to look after them again...

However, one drunken homeless person among other drunken homeless people will never be recognized as a well-mannered person precisely because such homeless people do not recognize the rules of behavior, good manners and good manners in principle.

We can say that good manners is respect for the people around you that is built into a person. If you were properly taught how to behave, taught good manners, and you learned this properly, you are a well-mannered person. If you were not raised or you did not absorb this upbringing, you are not fully educated. However, if a person practices, then the results are sometimes no worse.

Like any skill, good manners can be deeply learned, becoming a personality trait - and superficial, easily disappearing in problematic situations, or falling off a person over time if outside control has disappeared.

Elementary education distinguishes a person who is at least somewhat educated from someone who is ill-mannered at all. If a child doesn’t scream like crazy and doesn’t steal food from someone else’s plate, he has already received a basic education. Elementary education talks about WHAT needs to be done, but to a small extent it talks about HOW, and does not talk about style. Real, or high manners, are more about HOW, it is style, it is the beauty of movements and the charm of intonation. High good manners is not only formal and thoughtless behavior, but also an understanding of the meaning of this behavior, an internal commitment to good manners.

Children have to be instilled with good manners, because at first glance, good manners are unprofitable: a well-mannered person has to limit himself in many ways, and in a collision with an ill-mannered person, a well-mannered person almost always loses: he cannot afford what a person free from good manners can easily afford. The earlier a child is taught good manners, the greater the chances that it will be “in his blood,” however, instilling good manners against the backdrop of the child’s initial internal protest gives very controversial results.

A person’s good manners (or lack of manners) is visible to an attentive eye from afar and is an important marker for people with developed self-esteem. Education is like caste. Well-mannered people form a certain circle where not everyone is admitted, but only a select few, like themselves - well-mannered people. A well-mannered person will not unnecessarily show disrespect to an ill-mannered person, but will never befriend him or have serious business with him.

Good manners, as a set of rules of human society, in many cases quite successfully replaces empathy and the recommendations of psychologists. A well-mannered person is positive, does not use conflict agents, shows syntony, behaves with restraint and dignity in conflict, not because he is familiar with the recommendations of psychologists, but simply because he was raised that way. In many cases, practical psychology is needed only to the extent that a person did not receive the proper education at one time.

Unfortunately, the facts show that in Russia education is lower than in other countries. It is Russian tourists who receive the most complaints about their behavior abroad, and the creator of the anonymous social network Secret, David Bittov, sadly stated that “In no other country in the world do people publish such an amount of indecent content.” People with the Russian mentality have to be specially explained that anonymity is needed not only to talk about dirty sex and other people’s relationships.

True good manners manifests itself at home, in your family, in relationships with relatives

Opinion of Dmitry Sergeevich Likhachev, literary critic and cultural historian, academician of the USSR Academy of Sciences

If a man on the street lets an unfamiliar woman pass ahead, opens the door for her, but at home does not help his wife wash the dishes, he is an ill-mannered person. If he is polite with his acquaintances, but gets irritated with his family over every little thing, he is an ill-mannered person. If he does not take into account the habits, desires, preferences of his loved ones, he is an ill-mannered person. And if he likes to joke about his wife and children, sometimes even humiliating them, especially in front of strangers, this man is simply stupid. At the heart of all good manners is care - care that a person does not interfere with another, so that everyone feels good together. You don’t need to remember hundreds of rules, but remember one thing - the need to respect others.

Respect is determined by a person’s behavior, manners, and ability to dress. The foundations of education are laid in childhood. Parents and people around them act as a model of behavior from which the child reads data and applies it in adulthood. A well-mannered person who treats people with respect. Rules of behavior change under the influence of such factors: place of residence, status and religion of a person. Recently, publications have been published proving the influence of heredity on personality manners. What is education? Is this an innate or acquired quality?

What is good manners?

An educated person treats people with respect, regardless of the circumstances. At the same time, different requirements are placed on a child and an adult. It is enough for children to follow the rules established in the family. The respectfulness of an adult is manifested in following good manners and maintaining the norms of behavior accepted in a particular environment.

A well-educated person, being in society, takes into account what customs are inherited in the country or family. For example, in the East it is customary to pour an incomplete cup of tea to dear guests. By refilling the glass, the owners of the house once again show attention.

An adult has to maintain the level of upbringing, since the world around does not stand still. Cultural trends and political views are changing. The foundations of manners are laid by parents, then a person educates himself.

A cultured person stands out through his gestures, facial expressions, and speech. During a conversation, a well-mannered person does not wave his arms, pronounces words in a calm tone, and does not grimace. Such a person reacts to the opinions of others, does not slander behind one’s back, and says sharp and caustic things. A person with impeccable manners is called diplomatic, tactful, polite.

What kind of educated person is he?

Standards of behavior are created by people. Therefore, there is disagreement in defining a respectful person. Such disputes are easy to resolve. Ask the people around you why they consider you a well-mannered person. We list the criteria that are recognized by society:

1. Charm and pleasant communication. A well-mannered person radiates goodwill and does not use a raised tone. People are drawn to such a person and surround him with attention.
2. Intelligence. For many, this is synonymous with a cultural personality. An intelligent person is reserved, taciturn, and has self-esteem. Doesn't get out of balance, no matter what happens around you.
3. Tactfulness and delicacy. A well-mannered person would rather remain silent than express an opinion that will offend the interlocutor. In conversation he does not use swear words and does not touch upon topics that are unpleasant to others.
4. Respect. Not ostentatious quality and playing in public are noted. A well-mannered person will treat a stranger or a loved one with equal respect.

Factors influencing good manners

Raising a child is not only about instilling kindness and good skills. Adults face betrayal, anger, and hatred in life. Therefore, it is important to take off your child’s rose-colored glasses in time. Tell your children instructive stories, analyze examples from life.

Since the skill is laid down from an early age, a person’s behavior and character are influenced by parents. What other factors influence education?

1. Family relationships. A child in the womb reacts to light, sounds, and voices. Therefore, it should be built not from the day the baby is born, but from the day of conception. Banal conflicts lead to serious quarrels. Adults are not ready to give in, they look for the extreme or the guilty. Make it a point to talk through scandals and admit when you're wrong. Show your child that love and understanding reign in your family. To other people's children, consider his opinion and allow him to enter into debates. Let him learn to defend his point of view tactfully and reasonedly, and not with shouting and hysterics.

   It is better to show by example once how a well-mannered person behaves than to explain the rules of behavior a hundred times.

2. Environment. The mother or grandmother takes a greater part in raising the child. Cones fall on them if the child stumbles. The ideal parenting scheme is equal participation of mom and dad. But, in addition to communicating with parents, the child attends kindergarten, school, and clubs. Children watch TV, play computer games, read books. Education is formed under the influence of information received by the child outside the home. At the same time, an outside opinion is valued more than the notations of relatives. In order not to lose your authority, take an interest in your child’s affairs, pay attention to him every day, analyzing together how the day went.

Do you want to grow a well-mannered personality? Forget about using force, do not reprimand the child in the presence of strangers. Let your children know every day that he is important to you. By instilling rules of behavior in a child, adults maintain their level of respect.

Good manners: an innate or acquired quality?

Previously, it was believed that if you surround a child with well-mannered people, then an angel will grow out of him. Research by scientists has proven the opposite. Education is influenced by parental efforts and genes. Physical ability and health also contribute. It is not for nothing that married couples who decide to adopt a child carefully study who the child was born to.

Scientists have proven that heredity influences a person’s upbringing. If identical twins are separated in infancy and given to different families, they will still have the same personality traits.

On the other hand, the rules of behavior laid down in the family influence a person. , aggressiveness, non-standard actions - these are the consequences of upbringing. They grow up with callous parents. An unstable family situation leads to problems in adult life. Scientists have identified factors influencing poor upbringing: poverty, domestic violence, poor quality nutrition, bad habits among parents. It is possible to stop the destructive impact if you involve outside help. Involvement of social services, completion of rehabilitation programs.

Whose side is the truth on? Is good manners an innate or acquired quality? In fact, the situation cannot be viewed one-sidedly. A person is born with a set of genes that... At the same time, being in society, succumbing to the influence of others, the personality changes and builds a line of behavior. A person's manners are formed in equal parts under the influence of:

1. Hereditary factors. Includes the infant's character, vulnerability, and physical condition.
2. Education. It is formed as a result of the attitude of parents and others towards the child, the presence of stressful situations and aggravating circumstances.

A person's personality is formed as a result of the interaction of heredity and upbringing. These two factors complement each other, connecting at certain stages of life. In the first three years, genes and biological data dominate. Then they weaken, and the baby’s environment joins in. During this period, genetic vulnerability manifests itself. Constant stress and depression change a person, affect respect and disrupt brain function. Scientists have proven that proper education can defeat genetic diseases.

Surveys have shown that the level of education is falling. Other behavior patterns contribute to this. If we go back to the recent past, we can see that representatives of the fairer sex were raised in institutions for noble maidens. In addition to education, girls were taught communication skills and decent manners. , refined taste was instilled, and attention was paid to behavior. The boys strived to get into cadet schools, where, in addition to military wisdom, they learned responsibility, composure, and politeness. Today, government institutions assign a role to education, but not to upbringing. Giving all the cards into the hands of the parents. But not all adults are ready to raise a worthy unit of society.

How to become an educated person?

1. Analyze your behavior. Think about what aspects or character traits you would like to improve. Then ask your friends to give you a description. Work on your negative and weak points.
2. Respect others. Start with destruction. Don't let yourself think badly of other people. Before you speak out or give advice, think about whether you would like to hear such words addressed to you.
3. Communicate with people at ease. People perceive the inability to carry on a conversation as bad manners. After all, such a person remains silent or says nonsense. Enslavement and timidity lead to the fact that a person is embarrassed to speak out. To avoid being branded as an ill-mannered person, learn to communicate with people.
4. Find the ideal. At first, you will need a role model to form the basics. Look for a well-mannered person among your friends. A movie or book character will do. If there is no suitable example, then make new acquaintances, communicate with people more often, note what character traits you like, and learn from experience.
5. Accept other people's opinions. addressed to a person, ridiculing behavior or clothing indicates a lack of upbringing. Each personality manifests itself in its own way and does not need to impose your opinion. You cannot make fun of people with physical or mental disabilities.

Education is formed as a result of heredity and the contribution of parents and the public. A person can improve this skill by working on himself. The level of good manners manifests itself in non-standard situations. If the behavior is superficial, then under stress the person will break down and show true emotions. Good breeding, given by nature and acquired over the course of life, attracts people with manners, sophistication, and a person’s ability to communicate and look dignified.