Sometimes a situation arises in our lives when we have to part with a loved one. The realization comes that the connection has outlived its usefulness, has no prospects, and the feelings have faded away. It becomes clear that the time has come to go their separate ways. This situation is always painful and not everyone is able to get out of it with dignity without losses. It is very difficult to hide your pain, resentment, disappointment. How to start a breakup conversation how to break up with a man without committing actions for which you will be ashamed?

About how correct and beautiful break up with a man, this article and video will tell you.

How to break up with a man: we think, and then we do!

The main rule is “don’t cut from the shoulder.” Emotions are not the best assistant in this matter. Decisions made in an excited state can change life, not always for the better, and words cannot be taken back. First, think about what no longer suits you in .

No person is perfect, and your partner also has shortcomings that you might like to change, but your attempts do not bring results. Still, your man has virtues - qualities for which you fell in love with him. Before break up with a man, think about whether its disadvantages actually outweigh its advantages.

Good reasons for separation

Maybe you had an official dream, but the man diligently avoided this topic for a long time under any pretext? Talking about breaking up, as a form of emotional blackmail, may well prompt a man to propose marriage.

But most likely, you will not achieve what you want. In both cases, you need to rejoice - you are either getting married or looking for a new life partner; New perspectives open up before you; you stop wasting your time on a selfish person.

But in order to break up with a man, compelling circumstances are required:

Betrayal. To you. The desire to no longer intersect with such a person is quite natural. You can't build happiness with him.

You met another man and you realize that this is more. Definitely, in this case, the previous relationship needs to be terminated and break up with your man.

You began to be annoyed by the habits and behavior of your ex-lover, and you became aware of the futility of meetings.

We part beautifully

How to start a conversation about a breakup, while softening the blow of shock? Men, in general, are not ready for such a turn of events. Relationships with loved ones are not a battlefield, and thoughtless words can cause emotional shock for life. You must be firmly convinced that you want to stop communicating. Try to tactfully state the reasons for the breakup, be adamant in the face of persuasion. There is no need to waste your energy, time, emotions gluing together the fragments of past feelings.

You should never return to your previous relationship after breaking up with a man. , don’t say nasty things about him, and don’t ever talk about him at all. Turn over the read page of your life, start everything from scratch. Try to disappear from his life. People who were connected by something more than friendship are unlikely to be able to communicate painlessly with a “nagging wound” in their souls.

The best way breaking up with a man is a personal conversation at a meeting. This will help you avoid persistent calls. Calmly and succinctly explain the reason for the decision. It is important to put an end to it, and understatement will lead to infinity. Break up with your man beautiful, noble, without hysterics . It's worth thanking your ex for the time he was you. Surely, the communication was good, bright, kind.

In the conversation, emphasize that the reason is not in your partner, but in you, that he will definitely meet his soul mate. Having spoken, do not leave immediately. Let the man talk about what is painful and boiling over. Listening to people's opinions can be helpful.

If the initiator of the breakup is your partner

If they dump you, try at all costs to “save face” by demonstrating your self-esteem. Calmly and without unnecessary emotions, ask your partner to explain the reasons why he decided to break up. After all, in any case, begging, shedding tears, insulting a man and even fighting in such situations is pointless. On the contrary, as practice shows, the calm behavior of a partner confuses the stronger sex; they are so amazed that they begin to regret their decision, and sometimes even try to rebuild the relationship. It's up to you to decide whether to meet them halfway or not.

It is quite normal that you will feel very hurt and upset for some time. But do you know what would be best in this situation? Start living for yourself. Whatever the reason for your separation, two to three weeks after the sad day, begin to slowly come to your senses. Go to the club with your girlfriends and rock it until the morning! Start going to the gym in an intensive mode and get your figure in order in a few months. Find an interesting activity that will help you realize your creative energy. In general, get involved in life and don’t get stuck in the past.

If the initiator of the separation is you

If you are the initiator of the separation, your partner also has the right to expect an explanation of the situation. To do this, you yourself need to realize why you decided to break up - it is best to write down the reason for yourself on a piece of paper. She will help you remain persistent, even if the young man insists otherwise. You should clearly and politely explain to him why you no longer want to continue this relationship.

Be prepared for emotions on his part. Naturally, every person is unpleasant when he is abandoned. Your ex-partner may throw a tantrum, provoke a quarrel, insult you - you need to be prepared for this. Understand that for the most part people do this not out of malice, but out of resentment - they say, they hurt me, and now I want to hurt in return.

The explanation must be personal. Of course, you may be tempted to do this by phone, text, or even email. But your ex-partner will regard this behavior as disrespect. You need to have the courage to tell him everything straight to his face and face his reaction to it. Try to use “I” statements in your speech, focusing on yourself and your condition. Not “you acted like a pig,” but “I feel really bad when you do this and that.” This approach hurts much less, and then there is a chance that your ex-partner will hear you.

You may want to try one of the following methods:

• Parting during a conflict

  The simplest thing you can do is to express your decision out of emotion, when you both practically hate each other. Such a separation will most likely lead to a complete and final break in the relationship. And this is the main catch of this method: the person is very seriously wounded, and he gets the impression that you broke up because of a quarrel (and this is not true?) Therefore, this method is the easiest, but by no means mature.

• Slow separation

  Gradually, you begin to nullify your communication, stopping calling and generally showing up in his life in any way. But this method has a number of disadvantages. Firstly, there is no clear end to the relationship, which can result in unpleasant surprises in the future when the young man sees you in the company of another. Secondly, the reason for the cooling of the relationship will not be clear to your ex-partner, and this can be very painful for him. In addition, this method also cannot be called adult: you walk away from the conversation, preferring to simply slowly cut the guy out of your life.

• Story about another guy

  For many girls, this option becomes a way out of turning away an unwanted admirer once and for all. Naturally, you should not use it with a person who has an explosive character - it is unknown how such a conversation will turn out for you. And, of course, this method is very traumatic for your “ex-half” - why hurt a person more than necessary?

Thus, the surest and most correct option is still an honest and sincere conversation with your boyfriend. Yes, it's hard, but it has to be done. You will have to look into his loving eyes and say (just not in public!) that you have become different, your feelings for him have changed and you do not want to deceive either him or yourself. If there is some reason, tell him about it, emphasizing your inability to put up with it. You should end the conversation by saying that he is a wonderful man and will definitely meet a soul mate who will completely suit him.

Mutual decision to separate

It also happens that a couple comes to the realization of the collapse of a relationship at the same time. It would seem that the most bloodless option. True, behind it there is often a desire to accuse each other of all mortal sins, which prevents the separation from passing peacefully. If you are faced with a similar situation, try to maintain mutual respect - this is what will help you not remain enemies for the rest of your life.

Very often, having decided to separate, a couple drags their feet, remaining only sexual partners. Before agreeing to this type of communication, think carefully about whether it is worth maintaining a hopeless relationship even for the sake of good sex. They will somehow hold you back and prevent new love from coming into your life.

Breakup due to external circumstances

Sometimes couples break up not because feelings have cooled, but due to certain circumstances, for example, one of the partners already has a family or is leaving for a long time abroad or to another city. In this case, it is better to immediately refuse any contacts with your former chosen one. Think about it, if your feelings were so strong, would the current circumstances be able to interfere with you? Of course not. Accordingly, your separation is an honest and correct step towards a new happy life, but for this you will need to completely let go of each other. As they say, “if you don’t part with one, the other won’t come,” so get over the breakup, no matter how painful it is for you.

1. The division of jointly acquired property is another important problem during separation.

   This process, in the absence of an agreement on the ownership of this or that property by one of the partners or a marriage contract, can drag on for a long time. Often such a division develops into a global catastrophe. Be patient and try to adhere to the “golden mean” rule. Be fair to both yourself and your ex-partner. However, if you still cannot reach a mutual agreement, do not hesitate to seek help at the last resort - file a lawsuit.

2. Don't give in to provocations

   It is not a fact that a demonstrated sense of tact and restraint will help you break up with your ex-partner without a “headache.” When breaking up, some representatives of the stronger sex try, if not to arouse pity, then to vent their anger. Try not to succumb to various kinds of provocations on his part, reassuring yourself that you have already done everything you could.

3. Don't rush into a new relationship

   Psychologists say that you can find new love only when the old one is lived and released. Spend some time alone in order to better understand yourself. Well, if the other guy was the reason for the breakup, try not to advertise your relationship with him for at least some time, so as not to hurt your innocent “ex.”

4. About “staying friends”

   In fact, only a minimal percentage of ex-lovers remain in good friendships. This is due to the fact that separation almost always leads to denigration of the partner, splashing out one’s resentment and anger on him, after which it can be quite difficult to communicate. And possessive feelings can be a serious obstacle to a potential friendship. So don't blame yourself if you don't want to keep your ex-boyfriend as a friend - that's normal. But if you succeed, it will be very cool! This suggests that your relationship was truly a meeting of two people who are interesting to each other and who do not want to be removed from their partner’s life.

5. Guilt

   If you are the initiator of a breakup, then its occurrence is almost inevitable. This is why many girls wait until the last minute, forcing guys to break off relationships on their own. This behavior is aimed at removing responsibility and indicates a person’s inability to manage his life. You are acting like an adult who does not want to pretend and try to reanimate something that has long died. Think about it, staying with an unloved person is at least dishonest to him. So praise yourself and move on.

It is important to understand that parting has its own purpose - to stop the development of unpromising relationships, but not to devalue them. That is why it is so important to leave gracefully and intelligently - then each of you, after some time, will retain a good and pleasant memory of this period of life.

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Similar materials

For unfinished relationships in psychotherapy there is a term “gestalt”. It means that the relationship has not been fully worked out and fate will return us to the unfulfilled lesson. Perhaps with other people, but in similar situations. Therefore, it is always necessary to part until the end. To test completion, select one of your regular days. And in the evening, try to remember how many times you mentally returned to your previous connection. If there are more than five such marks, this is already an alarming signal! A clear indicator of being “stuck” is viewing your ex’s pages on social networks. Why do you need his profile? What are you looking for there?

How to break up correctly

There are no instructions on how to properly end a relationship. There are only tips on how to make everything less painful and more effective.

Burn your bridges

A proper breakup is when the relationship is completely over and it is no longer possible to return to it. The most important and most difficult thing is to let the person go from your thoughts. Ideally, remember briefly and with gratitude for the part of life’s journey that you have gone through together.

State the reason for the separation

Explaining to your partner the reason for separation can be very difficult, especially when you yourself are confused in your explanations and claims. However, you still need to try to identify the problems that you are not happy with and explain why you don’t see any other way other than separation. Remember, your arguments must be formulated clearly and understandably. They should not have double meaning or the possibility of a different understanding than the one you intend. Be careful with “life examples”, they very often look like an accusation.

Don't blame

Blame is the position of the weak. Standing in front of you is a person whom you once loved and with whom you spent wonderful years (months, weeks - underline as appropriate). A priori, he does not deserve humiliation at such a difficult moment in your life together (and it is still together). Be above putting a person in a position of guilt; in this case, it is better to take the fire yourself. Just don’t say those terrible “it’s not about you...” - hackneyed words turned by cinema into a synonym for indifference.

Rehearse

You'll still say things differently, but the rehearsal makes sense. Firstly, it will give you confidence. Secondly, it will set you in a decisive mood. Thirdly, if at the most crucial moment you are “locked in,” rehearsed phrases will pop up somewhere in your head that will save the situation from complete failure and shameful capitulation.

Avoid romantic memories

Memories are the hardest thing to overcome. Those evenings when you walked along the seashore, the romantic actions of your significant other, early summer breakfasts on his balcony... We are sure that you will find something to remember, so force yourself to remain silent about the past and interrupt your partner’s conversation if he decides to enter this forbidden land.

Choose a neutral place

This point follows from the previous one. No apartments, favorite parks or restaurants that you have often visited or visit. Of course, you shouldn’t part ways in the metro lobby or at a bus stop; try to choose something neutral. Let it be a place that neither you nor your partner have ever been to and definitely won’t be again. The breakup location should never appear on your map again.

Don't ask to remain friends

By proposing to part ways as friends, you run the risk of once again finding yourself in the unfortunate role of a participant in a dubious rom-com. In general, taking the example of breakups from movie characters is by no means the best idea. At least because all their words are subject to the scriptwriter’s logic, and not to your life situation.

Don't start shouting

Shouting, yelling and mutual accusations in a raised voice will not help matters. Don’t expect that the separation will be easier and less painful this way. It is quite possible that after some time you will regret what you said and decide to apologize... What will happen next, we think you have already guessed. No, not the best sex of your life (although anything can happen, but still this is again a story about a movie), but a repetition of everything that made you decide to end the relationship, and at the end a second round of breakups. This time even more painful.

Types of breakups

Positive gap. When feelings have faded, partners are reasonable and internally free enough to have the courage to admit the meaninglessness of what is happening and say goodbye to each other. Typically, such couples maintain a trusting relationship with their children, and separation in no way harms the future family scenario of the son or daughter.

Unfinished gestalt. Spouses or partners understand that the mutual fire has faded, the feeling of affection has crumbled, but the relationship must be preserved for the sake of invented, illusory reasons. For example, until the children grew up. Often in such families, “triangles” and betrayals arise. Children growing up in an atmosphere of constant lies receive a severe dysfunctional example of the family script. These children are the future clients of the psychotherapist.

The most painful, fraught with neuroses and psychosomatic problems. A difficult, tragic breakup happens when one partner is not ready to let go of the other. This means that the person who does not let go looks at the partner as property, denying him the right to have freedom of choice. Usually, at an appointment with a psychotherapist, it is the one who will not let go, who most often says: “But I love him!” or: “But he swore his love to me!” This comes from childhood. Overcoming the problem of letting go on your own is often extremely difficult - you need the help of a specialist who will develop adulthood and independence.

You don't know how to break up with a guy? Has love passed or has the relationship become unbearable? Then this article will help you. Finally, understand yourself and dot all the i's in relationships.

Often girls, even if they have decided that they want to break up with their boyfriend, still have doubts about this. Below we will describe the concrete reasons to break off the relationship:

• Assault

According to statistics, every 4th couple has cases of psychological and physical violence. But less than 50% of these women decide to break up. The most unpleasant thing in this situation is that in 95% of couples, outbreaks of physical attacks are repeated again and again. And over time they only become more frequent.

This happens when a girl does nothing to protect herself, but only continues to believe and hope that her partner will change. And only 5% of situations of assault by a man are one-time. In this case, they are caused by your incorrect behavior.

What conclusion can be drawn based on these data? Waiting for the correction of a young man who is giving up in most cases makes no sense.

• He doesn't respect you

Does your boyfriend allow you to make fun of you in the company of friends? Or does he consider your thoughts to be empty chatter? A serious reason for breaking such a connection. You may think that this is a small minus of it, which covers many good qualities. Think about how to live with such a person for the rest of your life. You will constantly feel stupid.

• You often quarrel

Is it difficult to call your relationship balanced and harmonious? Do you often quarrel with your loved one and just can’t find a common language? This will be a difficult test for you. Even if at the moments of reconciliation you feel very good with this person, after a couple of years you will only get the pain of disappointment and upset nerves.

• Your feelings have faded

Previously, you experienced warm feelings, but now the love has passed. And you look at this man in surprise. You can’t understand what you liked so much about him before. This is a wake-up call. Of course, some couples manage to return their former love back to normal. But for this you need to have at least a desire.

• He insults you

Is your guy increasingly addressing you in a rude manner? You heard a kind word from him, and you wonder if this is a hallucination? A great reason to say good-bye to your loved one. Mutual respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Case from practice:

Recently, Svetlana, 25 years old, came to us for a consultation, whose boyfriend was not very respectful towards her. He was often rude to her and could insult her in public in the company of friends. But she could not break off relations with him, as she was very attached to him. Also important to her was the fact that, despite the insults, the young man suited her completely and was literally her dream.

Over the course of several consultations, we finally found out that marrying such a person would be a mistake. Together we decided to give the young man 4 months to correct himself. Of course, first Svetlana talked to him frankly. In the conversation, she made it clear that if he did not make an attempt to improve his attitude towards her, then they would have to separate.

The young man, for his part, also experienced strong feelings and did not want to part. Therefore, he held out for 3 whole months, but, in the end, he lost his temper and shouted at her on public transport. This situation made it clear to Svetlana that this shortcoming of her lover is difficult to correct. And most likely she will have to endure this for the rest of her life together. Therefore, the girl decided to break off the relationship.

• Lack of attention

Your boyfriend, despite your requests, gives you little attention. If you decide to legalize the relationship, then, as statistics show, it will only get worse. Coldness and indifference are what awaits you with such a husband.

• He's using you

Girls are very kind by nature. And when the flame of passion falls on them, they are ready to do literally anything for their lover. They will stop the galloping horse and enter the burning hut if the prince asks. Sometimes this goes beyond all boundaries, and the guy begins to take advantage of the excessive kindness of his admirer. Often without experiencing mutual love. Such relationships cannot be called normal.

• He lies a lot

Does your crush like to embellish everything he says with colorful words? Or even invents something that didn’t actually happen. It’s common for him to tell tall tales instead of being honest. With such a would-be groom, building a happy future will be the same impossible fairy tale that he tells.

• He's cheating on you

He cheated on you, and you are one hundred percent sure of it. This is not gossip and speculation from your girlfriends, but reliable information. Many girls have doubts at this stage. The best advice here is to listen to your inner voice. If you have the strength and, most importantly, the meaning to forgive, then this option is possible.

Psychologist's advice: If in doubt, break off the relationship or not. Here are a few questions to help you decide. Think carefully and weigh all the pros and cons:

• What will change if we break up?
• Maybe it would be better to try to change something in the relationship? Will I regret this decision?
• Can I be happy without him?
• Do I still have feelings for him? Which ones exactly? Positive or negative? Love and tenderness or habit, irritation, fear of loneliness?
• Is this exactly what I need?
• Will I regret the breakup later?
• What's wrong with this guy?

What's the best way to break up?

Most psychologists vying with each other advise meeting exclusively in person for such an important conversation. Calls and text messages are seen as disrespect for a partner and cowardice. We think differently. Breaking up via SMS does happen. But here you also need to know certain rules:

– This type of separation is ideal for girls who have been dating for a short time.

– If you are afraid of a one-on-one breakup, and don’t know how you will look a guy in the eyes, then SMS is the best option.

– If your boyfriend has a hot temper. Especially if he has a habit of insulting and attacking.

Psychologist's advice: In any relationship, it is important to remember the hackneyed truth that everything tends to come back.

So if you are thinking:
- simply disappear unnoticed, avoid meeting your admirer and leave without explanation
- or deliberately torment him with nagging and eventually cause a scandal, shower him with reproaches,

then this is not the best option. This will break the young man's heart and make him spend more than one day in suffering. If you don’t want to be dumped in the same way in the future, try to explain things normally to the guy.

We break up via SMS. Examples of messages from a practicing psychologist

It’s also worth preparing for a breakup via SMS so as not to unnecessarily hurt your partner’s feelings.

• State everything clearly in one message. This will avoid unnecessary questions and explanations.
• Use a respectful tone and polite language. Now is not the time or place for reproaches and insults. It makes no sense to blame the guy for all the sins now. It's better to try to stay on good terms.
• Try to think through possible questions in advance and answer them ahead.

Example message:

Sash, I want to talk to you seriously and frankly. I'm worried about the future of both of us. We have too different views on life. In my opinion, this really prevents us from being happy. I hate pretending. There is no point in pretending that everything is fine anymore. Therefore, the best decision for us would be to separate.

I thought about this a lot and I can’t say that this decision was easy for me. But it will be better for both of us. I hope that you will understand me and will not hold a grudge. We had a lot of good things, so I will only remember this about you. I hope you will remember me only with a smile. I sincerely wish you: be happy!

Parting without hard feelings

If you want to break off ties with a guy, but remain on good terms with him, then do not rush to offer him this. This hackneyed phrase: “Let's remain friends” will only bring him the pain of resentment and humiliation. Everything needs to be done in a timely manner.

Think for yourself. Your boyfriend didn't suspect anything. When suddenly you tell him that you want to break up and will not change your mind under any circumstances. But appreciate everything that happened between you, etc. And bam, you offer friendship instead of love. Of course, the young man will be upset and refuse such an offer.

But if you do not insist on this, then his pain will subside over time and, perhaps, he himself will then offer it to you. Thus, you can break up with a guy without causing him a lot of suffering and without offending him.

He loves you, but you don't love him

12 important tips:

• It is considered good form to report the breakup in person, face to face. If you feel the strength to survive this unpleasant moment with dignity, and are sure that your boyfriend does not suffer from mental disorders (he will not start shouting and threatening you, or using physical force), then organize this meeting in advance.

The best choice of location would be a park or a quiet cafe. But not those where you spent many pleasant moments. Choose a place where you have never been together. Let the pleasant memories of you not be overshadowed by a tragic end.

• Also choose your timing carefully. Don't tell the news in front of mutual friends, during a break between couples, or during your lunch break at work.
• Plan and prepare your speech. Choose honest, frank words. But don’t mention his shortcomings or that it’s all his fault. Moreover, there is no need to attack, humiliate and insult a young man.
• It’s best to even rehearse a little in front of a mirror. Your words should sound convincing and calm. Don't use flirting. Otherwise, the guy will think that this is not serious.
• Don’t give in to pity, don’t cry or hug your ex-lover as a sign of consolation. This will also make him think that you are doubting your decision and you can still reverse it.
• Try to remain calm during the conversation itself. Do not descend into shouting and showdowns, even if the guy provokes you. Do not give in to his persuasion and promises to change everything. If you have decided everything, you should not indulge in manipulation.
• Don't make a scandal yourself. Think carefully, where does this desire to make a scene come from? Most likely from a feeling of guilt. After all, you are the initiator of the breakup. This will not make it any easier for you, but it can ruin your nerves. Parting is already unpleasant in itself, there is no need to aggravate everything.
• If you are leaving for another guy, then you do not need to report it. This will only make your ex-boyfriend even more upset. Try not to advertise this for a while. Do not appear in a common company of friends with a new passion, do not put joint photos on social networks.
• If you decide to break up with him, go all the way. And don’t delay this matter. Your coldness and postponing dates will not lead to anything good. But also consider the condition of your ex-other half. If he is now faced with a bunch of other serious problems, then such news could finish off the poor fellow.
• Don't give the guy hope for a possible turn of events. Advise him to move on and wish him luck with another girl. Emphasize that feelings have cooled and nothing can be returned.
• In the future, maintain respect for your former loved one. Do not share intimate secrets with your friends, do not spread bad rumors about him.
• Try not to keep in touch with a young man. After the conversation, delete his number, avoid meeting places and mutual acquaintances. This way, your separation will bring him less mental suffering.

If love has not yet passed, but a breakup is inevitable

Stage 1. Decide

The most painful breakup for a girl is breaking up with a guy you still love. You understand that relationships are going nowhere. But you love with all your heart. It’s not easy to decide that it’s over and take the first step towards breaking the connection. But this must be done. If you are already thinking that nothing can be fixed, it means that your relationship is already a turned leaf.

Analyze everything from your acquaintance to the present moment. Think about whether something can renew warm feelings and mutual understanding? Or does it no longer make sense to endure his coldness and indifference, constant quarrels? This will help you make your final decision.

Step 2: Do it

You have made a difficult decision for you. Take action! If you are confident in your abilities and can tell him this by looking into his eyes, then do so. But keep in mind that you also need to answer his questions and listen to his objections. It is very likely that he will try to stop you. You must endure it all with dignity.

If your feelings are so strong that it is not possible to do this in person, feel free to send an email. Your goal is to get away from a harmful relationship that is destroying you and him as well. It prevents you from enjoying life and creating normal relationships. Therefore, all means are good here.

Stage 3. Rehabilitation

At this stage, you will have to start a new life, despite the aching chest pain. The main thing to remember is that the best is yet to come! This thought should motivate you to move forward.

• Under no circumstances should you become discouraged or depressed. Your attitude is very important: if you are confident in yourself that no matter what you will survive this time, then so be it.

Psychologist's advice: Remember, millions of people have experienced what you are feeling now! And many also managed to find their love and happiness again. You are no exception.

• Make it a rule: to stir up the past as little as possible. Try not to think about your ex at all. This will serve as a good impetus for you to start a new life.
• Think through your life in such a way that you won’t meet him anywhere else. Chat now in another company. This person no longer exists in your life. You literally have to cross it out. Delete all photos and contacts, remove things that remind you of him.
• If the mental pain does not go away, express everything to a good friend, mother, sister. The best way to get rid of worries is to throw them out.
• Spend your free time wisely. Not to replay in your head possible reasons for separation and self-deprecation. And for positive activities: meeting with friends, going to the theater or cinema. Perhaps you have long wanted to resume playing sports or something else.
• Another useful rule: do not forget to please yourself with small pleasures. Do you want a new dress or change your hairstyle? Or give yourself a big surprise. Vacation at sea in good company. Whether you allow yourself to be happy depends only on you.

Case from practice:

One day Olga, 23 years old, came to us for a consultation. The girl could not break off the relationship that was tormenting her and could not understand whether it was worth doing. In the last six months, relations with Andrey have become very cold. The young man showed obvious indifference. But he was in no hurry to part with himself and denied his coldness.

Together with Olga, we analyzed after what events her boyfriend’s attitude began to change. It turned out that her lover accidentally met an ex-girlfriend on the street, for whom he had strong feelings. From that time on, they began to meet sometimes as good friends. The girl was married and claimed that her relationship with her husband was developing wonderfully.

Apparently, Andrei began to doubt his relationship with Olga and began to harbor hopes of renewing his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. But he didn’t want to break up, because he was afraid to admit to his former passion his remaining feelings and didn’t want to be left alone. As a result, Olga made the right decision to break off the connection with the man who was dreaming about another woman.

Debunking myths:

• There are females who are happy in life, they are always loved, and they never need anything. And only I had such an unfortunate fate.
  This is wrong. It is impossible to be in a state of absolute happiness and constant pleasure from life.
• Somewhere in the world there is a young man with whom you can be happy forever.

In fact, everyone has problems from time to time. The main thing is to be able to solve them in time so that they do not destroy love.

• True love only gets stronger over the years.

In any relationship there are various periods and stages that replace each other. At first there may be an idyll, then disagreement and vice versa. It is important to be flexible and meet each other halfway.

Break up with your boyfriend gracefully

Has your relationship brought you many happy moments? But in the end, you decided to break up anyway. Surely you want the breakup to be a wonderful ending. Read below for tips on how to leave a young man gracefully:

• Prepare and think through your speech especially carefully, use delicate words that can hurt the guy the least.
• Use praise, acknowledge that he is great and has many good qualities. Tell him that his future girlfriend will be very lucky to have him. But don't overdo it! Otherwise, the guy will think that you are trying to manipulate him.
• Remember together the most joyful moments with him, and sincerely thank him for it. Your task is to gently explain that it just so happened that despite all this, the feelings have faded away and cannot be returned.
• Don't give in to remorse and guilt. Remember - life is a cycle, nothing stands still. Staying in a relationship that does not bring happiness and satisfaction is not an option.
• The fault of the separation lies with both partners. Therefore, you must listen to the young man's point of view. To dump everything on him, pack his bags and leave - it would be too selfish.
• It doesn’t occur to you what words to choose? Then use the old wisdom - put yourself in your partner's shoes. What would you like to hear? This is exactly how you structure the conversation.

Psychologist's advice: An excellent solution for those who are afraid of such serious conversations face to face is to write a letter on paper. Describe to him all your feelings and why you decided to break up. Write and hand over this letter personally. Such an act will look honest and beautiful. Smooth out your indecisiveness this way)

How do you know that everything went well?

You just told your loved one that it's all over. How can you tell that he understood your words? Look closely at his face. What does it express? Sadness, melancholy, confusion? So, you did everything perfectly. This is a normal reaction of a person who has just been dumped by his girlfriend.

If there is a sly smile on his face, it means that in some way you were not convincing enough. Perhaps you were too flirtatious? Or did he see regret in your eyes? In any case, you were not taken seriously. So just turn around and leave. Don't contact him anymore, this will make him think about your words.

Now you have a complete guide to breaking up with your boyfriend the right way and the way you want. Start acting right now, without putting it off for a long time.

There are simple situations in life, and there are not so simple ones. Very often, confusing and complex relationships arise. And no matter how much advice the girls read, it is difficult to make a decision on their own and do everything right.

Only a psychologist with extensive experience behind him will be able to objectively assess the situation and help find the optimal solution. And also quickly and painlessly end unwanted relationships. We will be happy to help you with your question. We will work together on your specific situation and find the best solution. Together we can do everything!