This text was written almost a year ago for those who have never been to a funeral and for those who themselves or their friends have never lost loved ones. The pain goes away and it's time to publish it.

In the 40 years of my previous life, I only attended 2 funerals. Once (about 20 years ago) I was at the funeral of a colleague, the second time (about 10 years ago) at the funeral of a friend. Both times I had nothing to do with organizing the funeral.

Recently a misfortune happened in my family. A person close to me died and organizing the funeral fell on me. I've come all the way. I saw confusion in the eyes of my friends, who had also never been in a similar situation. They simply did not know how to behave - to call or not to bother, to come to the funeral or not, to say something or to remain silent. They really wanted to help me, but did not know how to do it and what to say in such cases. As a result, they did not do what I expected from them.

In this post I described my personal experience. I am sure that it is not universal and is not suitable for all cases. This is just my experience...

First, I will write about what you need to do if your loved one dies.

1. Call an ambulance so they can witness the death.
2. Call the police so they can make sure that the death was not violent.
3. Call a funeral service car to pick up the body. We tried to delay the arrival of this car until the morning, but we were not allowed to leave the body in the apartment - it was warm there.

The next day:

1. Come to the Ambulance and get a death certificate.
2. Come to the clinic and get another death certificate (I may confuse the names of the documents).
3. Get a signature and seal on this certificate from the head physician of the clinic.
4. Go to the registry office and get a death certificate.
5. Go to the funeral home and agree on everything.
6. Select a cemetery and choose a place in it. The best places are usually already marbled and prepared. They will be close to the entrance and much more expensive, but they will tell you that this is solely because of the marble. The places are further away, but on the first line the alleys will already have a foundation - this is four times cheaper than the previous ones, but still not cheap. If you are not ready for this, then you will be offered a place in order, which will be far from the path and you will have to make your way to it through other graves. The places there will be the cheapest - just a piece of land (at the Dubna cemetery one costs 11,000 rubles).
7. Next, you return to the funeral home and choose a coffin, pillows and blankets, wreaths and baskets of flowers, a hearse, a cross and a plaque (the monument can be erected no earlier than a year after the ground settles), you will carry the coffin yourself, or hire people for this and a lot of other things.
8. Go to the morgue and take there the things in which your loved one will be buried. Take a bar of soap, towels and cosmetics to be prepared.
9. Arrange with transport to transport everyone who came on the day of the funeral, first to the place of farewell (morgue or church), then to the cemetery and then to the place of the funeral.
10. Choose and agree with the restaurant where the funeral will be held. Select menu.
11. Call relatives and friends and tell them when and where the funeral will take place.

On the day of the funeral, you need to make sure that everything goes as you planned.

There is a term "pleasant troubles". It usually refers to a wedding or birthday. You need to organize everything, invite friends, order a cake, etc. A funeral is definitely an “unpleasant chore” and there are a lot of them. You have just lost someone close to you, and instead of just crying, you are forced to draw up various certificates and organize a funeral. At the same time, the officials you encounter in these institutions may be in a good mood, they may be trying to joke with you, and they may not understand your condition at all. It's hard for you...

Now about how to behave if a loved one of your friend has died. The first 2 days are the most difficult for him. The third day is easier, but on the fourth there is a funeral.

If a friend called you and said that someone had died, then you don’t need to squeeze out a useless “condolence” and continue to breathe heavily into the phone. It is your friend. He feels very bad now. He is in trouble and you can help him.

Don't ask "How can I help?" Better find out what else needs to be done and think about how much of it you can take on.

Don't hesitate to call a friend. If he can't answer you, he won't answer. Or perhaps he is completely alone at this moment and he really needs to talk to someone, but he has already called everyone the first time. He himself will not call and say: “I need to talk to someone.” Call yourself. Find out what has already been done or what remains to be done or who is coming to the funeral or how his other loved ones are feeling... Just don’t leave your friend alone.

If you were personally acquainted with the deceased, then remember the cases of your acquaintance and communication. Remember any little things and tell your friend about them. It will be easier for him when he knows that his loved one is remembered.

Be sure to come to the funeral, even if you did not personally know the deceased. You come there not for the sake of the deceased, but for the sake of your friend who will live on.

Support your friend and try to be as close to him as possible during these days...

How to behave with a man? There are documented and unspoken rules regarding human behavior, defining permissibility and education, courtesy and observance of certain traditions - all these types of behavior are communicated to us from childhood, but it is not always customary to tell a girl how to behave correctly with a man, and in some this topic is generally taboo. However, with a certain line of behavior, you can improve the relationship or ruin it completely; by choosing how to behave, you choose the future fate of the relationship.

Dealing with such a sensitive issue starts with determining how to behave with a man at the beginning of a relationship, since it is better to initially build everything in a direction that is comfortable for you, than to then spend years and thousands on your own and couples’ psychotherapy trying to edit what happened. And difficulties usually arise due to the fact that in the initial stages people are rarely quite frank, but try to play some kind of role, certainly somewhat similar to the true picture, but still less voluminous and real. This behavior is dictated by the desire to please, and then you can observe how a woman laughs at jokes that are not funny, eats fast food food, although she had previously strived for veganism, hides her aggressiveness and criticism of her partner, hides some facts of her biography (for example, radical views or love of extreme sports).

Some try to squeeze into the popular image and are touched by children, pretend to be responsive, and enjoy cooking as their last happiness. Such metamorphoses are caused by the desire to hide one’s own shortcomings and exaggerate the qualities considered positive among men, but there are also moments when a woman does not express her frank opinion, confuses her tracks in answering questions in order to maintain her own safety, to cover sore spots that are not yet close to a loved one I don’t want to open it, but it could significantly affect future relationships. Whatever the reason for such theatricalization, the result is the same - the woman cannot stand playing the chosen role around the clock, and the relationship is becoming closer, and if it was not difficult to be a smiling modesty twice a week, then pretending to be the director of a construction company around the clock will lead to the collapse of either a relationship or a career.

Any one comes out, in some families this happens after the birth of children and quite a long life experience together, but then the man leaves, faced with irreconcilable traits, or even reconcilable ones, but the fact of deception gives rise to such a high level of mistrust that no further deep interaction is anymore possible.

How to behave with a man so that he himself is drawn to a woman - psychology

In order not to be mistaken and to understand how to behave with a man at the beginning of a relationship, you should imagine that you are communicating with an old and close friend or relative, with that person whom you do not need to impress and meet standards, but you can be yourself in any state and any manifestations. Talk about your dissatisfaction, rather than swallowing irritation in the hope that you will endure it; go out without makeup if this is normal in your daily life; show your character and don’t try to appear deliberately weaker or stupider - in general, behave naturally. Firstly, such sincerity captivates and turns on interest, secondly, a man immediately notices that there is a personality and a living person nearby, and not a convenient doll in a beautiful package, and thirdly, such honesty will allow you to avoid your own tension, because he Those who are not suitable for who you are will not continue the relationship. And this is, perhaps, the most profitable investment of such a course of action - you immediately weed out people who are not yours, ensure your security for the future, since terrible secrets will not be revealed, and save time for those worthy or for your own pleasure.

This rule, which is not tricky in voice, but problematic in execution for starting a relationship, is easier for those who regularly deal with issues of their own soul, mechanisms and characteristics, since the lack of sincerity and strangers is necessary due to the presence of complexes or severe mental wounds, childhood introjects, allowing one to open up and appear before the world in the quality that is a valid presentation of the individual.

When the first stages of a relationship have been completed and everything is going well for you, the question begins to arise of how to behave correctly with a man, so that the relationship is not devoured by boredom or scandals, and the sweetheart himself is constantly drawn to interact with the woman.

How to behave with a man so that he does not leave for another? It’s worth starting not with the most important thing, but the most common one - maintaining your own external attractiveness. On the one hand, having looked closely at each other over the years, you will be forgiven for a lot, but aggravating the situation to the point that a woman preens herself only before going out, and walks around in a terrible way in front of her husband, or forgets about her appearance and gains twenty kilograms, is contraindicated. Taking care of the healthy condition of your own skin and body, keeping your hair and nails in order are the minimum requirements for self-respect, and this is where the interest of others begins. It’s too much to chase liposuction and plastic surgery, but don’t forget about perfume, beautiful lingerie and stylish clothes, and sports should not be aimed at pumping up piles of muscles, but at maintaining good health and proper metabolism.

Men want attention and care. An important nuance is that care should not be maternal (“wear a scarf, don’t hang out with the guys for a long time”) and not intrusive (when a woman has learned to guess a man’s desires by looking at her and fulfills them, forgetting about herself). Care should reflect male-female relationships, and he has a mother, a maid can be ordered from the appropriate service. Here you should focus on maintaining a conversation when he talks about his significant topics, and also pay attention to his preferences (you can - support an intimate experiment or cook what he asked for dinner). Praising in a timely manner, noticing the good even in a failed situation, wisely pointing out mistakes and shortcomings is perceived as concern if it is expressed correctly and in accordance with the situation, and in the future he will increasingly want to come back for your opinion. As for the material side, sometimes pamper him with absolutely useless, but desirable things, create a cozy atmosphere at home. If you think that you and the house are about different things, then know that many men note how cold and empty the house became when his wife left.

She avoids complete fusion and dissolution in her adored man. Many women abandon their lives and completely immerse themselves in the life of their husband; at first this looks like supporting his interests and a desire to spend time together, but as a result it turns out that they need periods of rest from each other, their own space. But by the time she understands the need for rest, a woman has usually already lost her own hobbies, and is trying hard to impose her company or control on her husband. Respect for other people's interests is an absolutely inviolable rule. A man should have time and resources for his own hobbies and friends who are not in common with a woman. At the same time, the demands for a report, constant calling, and spying on him are humiliating for both. We will not mention the inviolability of his email, phone and social profiles again. To resist such pressure, support your own unrelated activities and learn to have a great time, regardless of whether you are nearby.

The way you resolve problems and express your own dissatisfaction also plays a role - if you do this in a manipulative manner or make a scandal, find fault, itch every day, then the man will most likely run away. All claims and disagreements should be discussed openly, without attempts to put pressure on feelings, from a position of cooperation, because relationships are a joint product.

And for a man to be drawn back to you even after quarrels, you will need spiritual community, which is achieved through common interests and activities. But people can spend a lot of time separately, work in different fields and have absolutely no understanding of each other’s hobbies, but still have strong relationships. The secret is in the same life goals, set priorities and unspoken spiritual aspirations, ranking the significance of events and ways to achieve goals.

In general, for a man to be attracted to a woman, she must be a psychologically mature, open person, with her own beliefs and the ability to build productive contact, if the man himself is psychologically formed. Infants will always look for mothers and no internal organization of yours will force him to return, except for absorbing care, habitual control and a woman’s ability to pull double responsibility.

How to behave with a man so that he falls in love

One-sided love is an excellent inspiration for creativity, judging by the number of works dedicated to suffering, but those who have fallen mutually in love have no time for poetry and paintings. If you still do not want to choose a creative path, then you can direct the level of energy that has risen against the background of a hormonal surge into the direction of an indifferent object of adoration falling in love with you. A man can easily be captivated by his own beauty, an interesting meeting, or some proposal, but infatuation does not always develop into love. The mistake is that without information about the man, having received a piece of individual attention, the woman believes that everything has come together successfully, and now he will bathe her in champagne, and the man loses his quickly sparked interest and disappears from the radar after a couple of evenings together. So constant attention, manifestation of active interest and analysis of his words, reactions, actions will help transform passion into deeper interest. Your ability to support topics that interest him, your ideas that coincide with his opinion are tools aimed at establishing a more interesting contact.

But watch your own behavior without turning into a detective prying for information. A woman is attracted, first of all, by her femininity, distinctive softness from the male world, playfulness and openness. When talking about feminine expressions, dresses and lipsticks immediately come to mind, but for men, feminine behavior, the ability to construct phrases and control of one’s own voice are much more important. The unknown of the female world fascinates and captivates, and men strive to unravel the mysteries, so naturalness is welcomed, but revealing all the cards and telling your full biography should not be allowed. Leave room for his imagination, which is your most faithful assistant, since you will not be able to talk about yourself as temptingly as he can imagine. Feel free to share general information, but try not to talk about deeper or intimate things or try to avoid answering nicely with half-hints and smiles.

Show interest in the man, communicate, but do not impose. Independence makes you want to do something for you, the lack of questions about his feelings pushes you to shout about it to the whole area, some coldness and lack of fear of losing him makes you fight for you. the hunter works religiously, and the more difficult the prey encountered along the way, the more interesting the man is, therefore, the more independence you show, the more he will fall in love with you. You can miss his call, go to dinner with a friend, but don’t forget to show that you are interested in him - such emotional swings make men emotionally invest in a relationship, and they usually don’t leave what they put a lot of effort into.

Engage in expanding and deepening your own special and social knowledge. The times when a woman was interesting only for her appearance are long gone and now being an knowledgeable interlocutor in various fields is the norm. And, in addition, a rich dialogue provides opportunities for planning and building further time together, whereas after naked intimacy there are no connecting threads of interest, and there is nothing more to meet for.

Develop yours, because By talking to a man only about topics that interest him, you risk soon losing his attention. The delight of community passes, but the brain’s need for new information remains, so the time will come when you need to gradually reveal the full depth of your own mental world, plunging into which a man can experience a variety of emotions. Let it be delight or a desire to convince you, a desire to join or prohibit - any reaction will give rise to further development of the relationship.

But not only in conversations is the power of the birth of love, but in the tenderness of touches that occur as if by chance, in passing, almost imperceptibly. This is bringing the psychological distance closer, establishing contact with his body and imprinting on him not only as a spiritual carrier of information, but as a completely living physical object of the opposite sex.

How to behave with a man so that he is afraid of losing

Women are restless creatures and first worry about the relationship starting, then so that the depth and seriousness of what is happening between the partners coincides, and then they are afraid of losing what exists. This kind of thing gives rise to the need to place it in your man, since for the woman herself it is proof of love and a kind of guarantee of stability and reliability in the future.

The inviolability of someone else's physical and spiritual space, as well as the ability to keep a distance, allows relationships not to wither and protects them from quarrels and scandals due to excessive control. With skillful dosing of your own presence in a man’s life, you get what you want - it is he who will show more attention and activity in your direction and be afraid of losing your favor. A woman who doesn’t get caught up in family matters and attends various events, both with her man and without him, does not cause cloying. If the time devoted to yourself is used profitably (and it doesn’t matter if you spent that day in a spa or training, visited an exhibition or got a new hairstyle), then a man’s interest in such a woman doubles. Understanding her value and versatility, a man adequately assesses his chances and understands that simply lying next to him on the couch will not be enough and someone more interesting can completely capture the attention of his woman. Getting bogged down in everyday life, you lower the bar of your importance and the bar of masculine achievements. A man strives and wins for the sake of a goal or to retain his prey, but for the sake of an ever-sticky chump, with whom you can only talk about the fallen wallpaper, he is unlikely to lift a finger and will be very worried about its presence or absence in his life.

Choose a policy of relations as between good friends, instead of Soviet house-building and total patriarchy. When you can maintain any conversation with your man and he does not have to strain his brain, which threatens the discussion of the next topic (scandal, reproaches), then the level of frankness in the relationship increases endlessly and he does not have to go to other people for an understanding word (not necessarily his mistress , perhaps to friends, but the value of a woman who does not understand is minimal). Respect his opinion and interests, remember, after all, you will express your disagreement to a friend, calmly argue why, but you will leave it to him to decide and choose how to live further, continuing to accept him and this choice, why in relation to your own man you need to build a totalitarian regime with the only correct one opinion. Again, do not give in to your interests and do not allow your loved one to push through his own point of view, just as you do not live according to friendly decrees. Listen, ask for advice, but don’t let him command - such relationships are only possible in a bilateral mode and, without respecting a person’s choice, you have no right to demand respect for your own decisions.

Do not remain the same, choosing a line of behavior that once worked perfectly - this is a mistake, since it was not the line that worked, but the innovation that it brought. When a man has had enough of your modesty or independence, he will no longer admire it, but over time will begin to irritate him, and not with the quality, but with the constancy and immutability of your personality. A woman, first of all, in men’s eyes, is a storehouse of various emotional sensations, so do not be afraid to show both your own anger and defenselessness. The more diverse the spectrum of emotional reactions and information a man receives from you, the more often spontaneity appears (not to be confused with critical unpredictability that can lead to hysteria), the more he will appreciate you and be afraid of making mistakes in his own actions towards you.

Don’t force a person to change to suit your vision of rules and choices, accept it and when you want to show your concern, do it in a way that a particular man will appreciate. Those. if he prefers hiking and pizza while playing online, then you don’t need to drag him to an Italian restaurant to eat oysters - it will be awkward and stressful for everyone, but if you give him a tray of burgers and go to your friend’s while he and other players go through the next raid, then You can return to his praising you on Skype to his comrades complaining about their wives.

Don’t forget about the intimate side, because men forgive everything to excellent lovers - a mess in the house, boorish behavior, idleness and outright stupidity. And the point is not in the notorious “everyone needs the same thing,” but in the fact that in order to deliver maximum pleasure you will have to learn a lot in terms of techniques, master foreplay and massage, understand the intricacies of the influence of colors, smells, temperatures, and products. And this is just the beginning, which must be creatively applied each time in different ways, subtly sensing on an empathic level the state of the man and the environment. Men don’t need girls who spread their legs at the first hint - there are plenty of them, they need a woman who knows how to feel it and through physical influences deliver the necessary psychological states - relaxation, confidence, inspiration, strength, humility, the ability to look from the other side.

The principle “if you want to hold on, let go” works one hundred percent, because then the decision to be with you is the man’s own sincere desire, and is also spurred on by external factors of your independence. This adds strength, joy and energy, while constant control and interrogation simply kills any desire, except the desire to quickly disappear over the horizon.

The principle of reasonable egoism is the golden mean between altruism and egoism. Even if you are a broad-minded person by nature, put off your desire for self-sacrifice until better times (it is possible that these times will never come!). If you fail to become selfish, at least act like one.

What is egoism? This is a “romance that lasts a lifetime” with the person who is most dear to you, that is, with yourself.

Self-love is the ideological content of the principle of reasonable egoism, and its applied expression is to shift onto the shoulders of a man as many different responsibilities as possible, including those that were previously yours.

Using the principle of reasonable selfishness from the very first days of your acquaintance with a man, you will instill in him a sense of responsibility, which will be very useful if you decide to make him happy by agreeing to marry him. By not allowing your man to relax, you can free up more time for yourself, your children and your life partner, finally! As a result, even with a long history of living together, you will not be a “cornered horse”, always irritated, tormented by small everyday problems, you will smile more often and grumble less. And this will ultimately benefit both of you. That is why this principle is called “reasonable egoism.” Let's consider its main points:

1. Give your man the opportunity to take care of you. Be a little bit of an actress, portray helplessness and confusion in any difficult (and not very difficult too!) situation. Women who look weak and helpless make a man feel strong. And they always win in the eyes of men.

2. No matter what men say, each of them in his soul dreams of a romantic person reminiscent of Turgenev’s girls, even if at a given period of time he is sleeping with a girl “without complexes.” Don’t believe that men like practical women, realists who stand firmly on their feet! The symbiosis of a food processor, washing machine and vacuum cleaner is needed only by a male consumer. But you don’t need such a man!

By the way, the role of an impractical person, far from everyday life and the real world, is not only much more advantageous, but also brings very tangible benefits.

In relationships with the opposite sex, always be guided by the principle of reasonable selfishness.

3. Love yourself more than the man you love. The more you experience warm feelings for yourself, your beloved, the more likely it is that your partner will love you with the same degree of intensity.

4. Do only what you are passionate about, what interests you and evokes positive emotions.

Never do anything you don't actively want to do. If you don’t want to go to the dacha to dig beds, don’t go. By wasting your weekend to sow parsley and dill, you will later decorate your table, but not your life.

Don't go to visit people you don't like. Of course, you don’t tell your beau this; accept the invitation, but calmly go about your business.

5. If you have a full basket of dirty laundry, and you want to read a detective story or watch your favorite TV series, do not deny yourself anything. If your roommate grumbles that he doesn’t have clean shirts, let him wash them himself. Having decided to live together, you did not sign obligations for his personal services. He probably doesn’t do even half of what is considered “a man’s duties”!

6. You can avoid unpleasant things in this way: never argue with a man, don’t say that you’re lazy or don’t want to, verbally agree that everything will be done, but don’t do anything. And then - a sweet, confused smile and: “Sorry dear, I completely forgot!” Oh, how sorry I am, please don’t be angry!” Well, how can he not forgive! Maybe he’ll curse to himself, but he won’t show it. Let him even mentally call you a “blunder”, “stupid”. But you will force him to play by your own rules.

Or another option: “play the fool”, blink your eyes, ask again a hundred times, pretend that you will certainly forget and mix everything up. As a result, your man will be forced to help you. A couple of such sessions and he will get used to doing everything himself. It's okay, the crown won't fall off!

7. Never forget that you have not only responsibilities, but also rights. Win more rights for yourself and slowly get rid of responsibilities. Always look for a contractor who can do the maximum for you that was previously part of your responsibilities.

8. The technical side of things, as well as physical, dirty work, are not for you. If your favorite painting falls off the wall, don’t rush to take a hammer to hang it up again. Any woman is capable of driving a nail into a wall, but why should she do it?! If there is a male creature in your house, that is his prerogative. Let the fallen picture stand there, leaning against the wall, until the creature, proudly calling itself a “man,” deigns to take out a stepladder, a hammer and a nail. If your faucet is dripping, don't rush to call the control room to get a plumber. If your life partner's hands are in the wrong place to replace the gasket, then at least take the trouble to call a mechanic yourself. At the same time, you will learn how to fix the problem. (By the way, there is no wisdom in this; such an operation can easily be accomplished by a man even with three higher educations.

9.Men have nothing to feel sorry for. Any work will only benefit them. Labor, as we know, turned a monkey into a man. Work can turn a male representative into a man.

10.Take care of your own good mood. Never raise your voice, shout, argue or make trouble with a man. Don't waste your emotions! Remember that negative emotions have a negative impact on a woman’s appearance.

11.If you have to do something you don’t like, don’t rush. Pull until you find someone who is happy (or not) to roll up their sleeves. The one who has stronger nerves or who cares about the result wins. If no one shows enthusiasm, forget about this matter. There are so many things in the world that you don’t have to do!

12.Learn to say “no.” The problem with many women is that they say “yes” too easily and don’t know how to say “no.” When refusing someone, justify the reason. If your opponent is not satisfied with your motivation, it will be worse for him.

13. Don’t rack your brains over other people’s problems that don’t concern you. Don’t meddle in someone else’s soul, in someone else’s life, but don’t let anyone into yours either.

14.Learn to manipulate men and force them to do what you want.

15. Never row while sitting in a boat with a man (this, of course, should not be taken only literally). Figuratively speaking, be a navigator in life, but not a rower.

And most importantly: do not spoil men by taking on their functions!

Having mastered these principles, you will understand that you can enjoy life without disappointing others, without infringing on their interests, but at the same time without offending yourself.

This is a state of mind in which a person effectively solves daily problems, knows how to build healthy relationships, adapts to change and copes with stress.

The opposite condition indicates that the person most likely has a mental disorder. It usually manifests itself as a change in thinking, a distortion in the perception of oneself and reality. Behavioral problems appear and there is no sense of well-being.

According to calculations Mental health statistics: UK and worldwide. Mental Health Foundation, 1 in 6 people worldwide experience a mental disorder every week. The World Health Organization says Mental disorders. Key facts. that more than 300 million people in the world suffer from depression, 60 from bipolar disorder, 21 from.

The scale of the problem is not difficult to imagine. It's harder to draw parallels with your own life, in which a loved one may be struggling with bipolar, depressive, anxiety, borderline, or other disorders. It is important to remember how to behave correctly in order to become a reliable support.

What not to do

Depreciate

Many already experienced ignoring and non-recognition of emotional reactions in childhood. You should not continue to devalue unique experiences and experiences. And understanding that someone is worse off is a dubious way to feel better.

What not to say:

• I've had bad days too.
• At least you have a job.
• You're just screwing yourself over.

No one likes unsolicited advice, and doubly so for a person with a mental disorder. Even competent psychotherapists don’t give direct advice, and basic actions like distracting yourself, having fun, forgetting yourself don’t work. Only systematic therapy helps, which takes a lot of time and effort.

If you are sure that the advice is truly valuable, first check whether the interlocutor is ready to listen to it.

What not to say:

• You need a change of scenery.
• Go to yoga/bar/beauty salon.
• Get your act together!

Scold

People with mental problems already beat themselves up all the time, so don't add to the guilt. Positive reinforcement works much more effectively. Sincerely praise the little things. Sometimes something as small as going outside can be a major achievement.

What not to say:

• You're living wrong!
• I'm sorry for you!
• You're wasting time, nothing changes!

Wait for initiative

Don't wait for your loved one to ask for help. He may not do this because he is afraid to impose himself, is constantly waiting for refusal, tries to cope alone, does not feel the strength to pick up the phone. Call or write yourself. Most likely, this is highly anticipated.

Leave

When a loved one has trusted you and is waiting for support, evaluate your strength. If there are enough of them and you decide to be there, don’t give up halfway. Don't be afraid to say that it's hard for you and you need to be alone. People with mental disorders tend to be empathic and understanding. It's better to take a break to recover than to melt down. Losing support is painful.

What do we have to do

Explore the topic

Speak the same language. Study the literature, ask gentle questions. This way you will begin to understand the motives of your actions, your behavior will no longer seem so strange, and you will not say offensive phrases “Don’t justify yourself with a diagnosis” or “It’s just autumn sadness, not depression.” Having common knowledge brings people closer together.

Participate

Sometimes a person himself may not know how to help him, especially in a crisis situation. So offer specific help, such as suggesting they go to the movies or telling a funny story.

Together you can make a list of activities and actions that alleviate the condition. You can use it if your loved one is feeling very bad and has no time to talk.

Help find a specialist

Support is a powerful force, but you should not neglect the help of a specialist. also a doctor. It is he who should be contacted in case of mental disorders. If a loved one doesn’t know how to find a specialist or is afraid, help. Call the clinic, study reviews on the Internet, tell them how the classes are going.

Cheer

Say a lot of kind words. Self-criticism can destroy even the most obvious victories. The more you focus on the good and praise for success, the stronger your self-confidence and desire to work on yourself.

Take care of yourself

This has no direct relation to helping a loved one with a mental disorder. But healthy support requires strength and energy, and immersing yourself in someone else’s pain can become a trigger for your own. Therefore, take care of yourself, monitor your condition and do not be afraid to ask for help.

If your loved one has a mental illness, know that your support is greatly appreciated. Not fighting alone means winning at least twice as fast.

If a woman wants to make as few mistakes as possible in a relationship, then she needs to learn in advance how to behave correctly with a man. The usual attitude towards this issue is unlikely to lead to anything good.

A man and a woman are completely different from a mental point of view. And what seems completely understandable and normal to one may turn out to be completely unacceptable and stupid to another.

One of the main conditions for a happy relationship with a man

For a woman, the ability to “speak the same language with a man” is an important factor in creating a happy relationship. Therefore, it is not always possible to behave the way you want.

On the contrary, it is often necessary to behave as needed. And in the long run it brings pleasant results. And this is the first thing that not only women, but also men need to learn.

You need to work on relationships, and always. Only then will they bring happiness and satisfaction. Relationships don't just become great on their own. You need to invest your efforts in them.

If you let your family life take its course, it will only degrade and not develop. Therefore, let us remember this most important rule:

A woman needs to work on her relationship with a man and invest her efforts in it.

Since you are reading this article, then stop being selfish and waiting for him to start doing something in this direction. A man may never start working on a relationship if he is not pushed to do so.

As a result of such selfish inaction, relationships are destroyed, but this does not relieve responsibility from either spouse. Read on and learn the rules of behavior with a man.

Here basic rules of behavior between a woman and a man:

1. Do not focus on its shortcomings;
2. Give without expecting anything in return;
3. Don't get attached to him;
4. Don't argue with him;

Now let's talk about each rule in more detail.

4 rules on how to behave correctly with a man

• There is no need to constantly tell a man about his shortcomings

A woman has an excellent ability to see absolutely all the flaws in her husband. She clearly sees every little thing in him; nothing can be hidden.

And a huge mistake is that women love to talk about this to their men at any convenient or not so convenient occasion. In most cases, such female behavior leads to insults and reproaches from the husband, which in turn leads to scandals.

You don't need to do this, even if you really want to. First, know that by focusing your attention on a man’s shortcomings, you make him weak. He stops believing in himself and striving for anything.

Secondly, a woman always has no fewer shortcomings than a man. They just may be more hidden and manifest themselves in character. But they exist and there are a lot of them.

Thirdly, if you begin to focus not on the shortcomings, but on the merits of a man, then he will become stronger and more confident.

Remember that behind great men there are always wise women.

• Learn not to expect anything from a man and give it yourself

We all make the same mistake in relationships: we expect something from those close to us. Even while seemingly doing something good for a man, a woman often expects reciprocal actions from him. This is called selfishness or selfishness.

And where actions are selfish and imply mutually beneficial cooperation, there will always be suffering. Learn to be selfless and give love without expecting anything in return.

It is then that a person receives real happiness and gratitude from loved ones, and then love. This is secret knowledge that works in life.

• Try not to get too attached to a man

Attachments in the material world make people weak and dependent on external circumstances. Of course, it is difficult not to become attached to your loved one, but there is no need to make a god or someone else out of him.

When we begin to idolize someone, pride and delusions of grandeur take possession of that person, while we lose our sense of self-worth.

If a woman becomes very attached to a man, is afraid of losing him, and the like, then this negatively affects the relationship. He may gradually stop respecting her and seeing her as a person.

It is better to concentrate on the comprehensive development of personality and mind in particular, invest love and care in relationships.

• Learn not to argue with your husband and take an outwardly subordinate position

When a woman begins to argue with a man, he stops seeing her as a woman and begins to see her as a rival. That is, he begins to fight. By the way, this is one of the reasons for assault in the family.

Not arguing is one of the most important rules on how to behave correctly with a man. In such a state of mind, a woman loses nothing, but can gain absolutely everything. When she outwardly agrees with her husband and accepts a subordinate position, he will be satisfied.

At the same time, a woman can gradually lead a man to a completely opposite decision, since as a result of such behavior of his wife, great gratitude to her will arise in his heart, which will then be transformed into generosity.

The main thing for a woman is to be able to influence a man with love, affection and tenderness.

How to communicate with men correctly?

It is important for a woman to know not only how to behave correctly with a man, but also how to communicate with him.

The fact is that a man is mentally weaker than a woman, and he painfully perceives her emotional speech. If she begins to explain something to him with feeling, gestures and emotions, then he automatically begins to close himself off from her and may even think about how to protect himself from such a “psychic attack.” At such moments, a man does not hear a woman.

Therefore, you need to try to talk to a man calmly and without unnecessary emotions. Only in a calm manner can a woman convey an idea to a man. This is not as easy for a woman as men might think, but it needs to be learned.

How to behave correctly so that a man shows masculine qualities?

One person said very correctly and very correctly that we have very few real men left. There are plenty of reasons for this: two world wars and a civil war, women raising boys, the total corruption of society and much more.

In other words, it is important to understand that men today have become effeminate, and women have become masculine. Everything is mixed up today, but we also need to live with it and do something.

A woman's behavior with a man depends on who exactly this man is: father, husband, brother or stranger. If the man is a stranger, then you don’t need to have any business with him - it’s unethical, dangerous for your family, pointless, etc. Today, in times of enormous underdevelopment of society, communication between anyone and anyone is welcomed. The result is debauchery, divorce and unhappy children.

First of all, you need to behave respectfully with your father, since he is the eldest for your daughter. Further, depending on the situation, either build a close relationship if the father is adequate, or keep a distance if the father is not fully developed and behaves incorrectly.

You need to behave with your husband in such a way that he shows responsibility, and not take it upon yourself for him. We need to inspire him to take active action and development, support him, and take care of him. Sometimes you need to be strict so that he doesn't do something stupid.

You need to behave in a friendly manner with your brother, learn to trust each other, and again support each other. With a normal relationship, brother and sister can become very good and reliable friends.

How to behave with a man so that he falls in love?

In order to make a man fall in love with you, and the one you want, you need to become a certain woman. That is, in order for a man to fall in love with a woman, it is not enough to just be female.

It is also not enough to study some kind of behavior technology with which you can draw a man’s attention to yourself and then “bewitch” him. These are all external psychological technologies that do not work or work extremely ineffectively and temporarily.

The best way is to work on yourself and your internal state, which of course will then affect your external behavior.

Men fall in love with beautiful, smart, unusual and happy women. At the same time, no one needs unhappy, angry, whining and inadequate women.

Men like women with whom they can calmly communicate, and also be a hero next to them, and not a rescuer or a “vest for grievances.”

When you become a happy woman, then you will already understand how to behave correctly with a man in order to please him. Just fill yourself with happiness from within and become a self-sufficient woman, which is greatly helped by serious and real development in all areas of life.

Conclusion

The first thing to take away from this article is that relationships need to be worked on. In this context, a woman needs to make efforts to perform her duties with love and patience. This needs to be learned.

1. Learn to concentrate on a man's strengths, not on his shortcomings;
2. Learn to unselfishly give affection, care, love in relationships;
3. First of all, just do your duty to a man and try not to become blindly attached;
4. Do not argue with a man and outwardly agree with him - this is a powerful tool of influence on a man.

Try to communicate with a man without unnecessary emotions, speak calmly and slowly, otherwise the man will not hear you. And most importantly, learn to remain a woman in any situation and do not turn into a man, as many modern women do.

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http://site/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/how-to-behave-correctly-with-a-man.jpg 319 639 Sergey Yuryev http://site/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Blog-logologotip-bloga-sergeya-yurev-6.jpgSergey Yuryev 2017-05-22 05:00:05 2019-05-05 11:03:47 How to behave correctly with a man: 4 most important rules